On Snooki and her Jersey Shore housemates:
"Snooki doesn't just have a muffin top, she is a muffin top. All those girls, they need to bathe—they look shiny and slimy. People wanna get rid of Snooki's bump—that's the least of her problems. You wanna scrape off the tans, get rid of the lip gloss. The guys have these fierce bodies and the girls are messes. They don't go to a gym. Why don't they go with the boys and pull it together and then go shopping?"
On New Jersey Housewife Teresa Giudice:
"She goes by the Fran Drescher adage: The bigger the hair, the smaller the hips."
On Atlanta Housewife Nene Leakes:
"No need to scream when you can whisper. Like I say in my book, she's a big girl who feels like she has to be in big girl clothes. You're not hiding anything, we know it's there. Take it down some."
On Kendra Wilkinson:
"Doesn't dress up. Can we get out of the gym clothes and the poom-poom shirt? Does she own any adult clothes? Any clothes that a woman would wear? She's always working out, never working it out. Get a dress, get a suit, get some pants!"
On Kim, Khloe & Kourtney Kardashian:
"Kim. Kourtney. Khloé. They've created a movement in fashion. Kim is one of the most stylish people out there right now. Every girl in every city is gallivanting around in too-tiny dresses. I've seen more X-rated body parts in Manhattan thanks to the Kardashians, but the jersey dress is hot on these girls."