No one wants to be alone, but is beating loneliness worth being with a person who isn't right for us?
A FitPerez reader dating a controlling guy is being warned by friends that he may not be the right guy for her, so she wrote life coach Dr. J for advice, asking:
My friends don't like the guy I'm dating. They think he's controlling and doesn't treat me all that nice and they tell me I should break up with him. They're kind of right, but I love him and don't want to be alone. Is it wrong for me to stay wih him?
According to Dr. J:
When we don't listen to our instincts, we often walk away from our own innate wisdom. Perhaps you should start listening to yours! Something tells me that you already know the answer to your question, but you are choosing the path of least resistance, at least for the time being. Be mindful of what you compromise…it could be your own demise! Your decision to stay in a less than perfect relationship makes it difficult for you to be your best in other areas of your life. Remember, we ultimately make our own choices even when we don't choose.
I do hope you heed the suggestions from your friends. You don't have to agree with everything they say, but if multiple sources are telling you the same thing, it's time to evaluate whether you are on the winning side of this coin toss. Be clear on what it takes to have a healthy relationship vs. having one that is making you unhealthy. Kindness and Freedom are wonderful attributes, and are qualities that you shouldn't have to ask for in a healthy relationship. It's time for you to make yourself a priority and seek out things in life that make You happy. You may get some initial resistance from your guy, but it will be worth the growing pains. Once you remember what it feels like, you'll want to eliminate things in your life that don't give you that positive energy. Your relationship may be one of those things. Ask yourself, would you rather be Dating? Alone? Or with someone who suppresses your shine?
If you've got a question about how to handle something bothering you in life, shoot us an email or ask the doctor himself @AskDocJ on Twitter!
Tags: answer, boyfriend, controlling, dating, dr. j, loneliness, question, reader, twitter