Now here is a question about relationships that has always been in the back of our mind! A FitPerez reader wrote life coach Dr. J for advice on love and life, asking:
"Ok…Dr. J, how do I know if my girlfriend is "The One?"
According to Dr. J:
Do You want naughty? Do You want nice? Or Do You want REAL? Whatever it is you want, I have some REAL questions for You to think about, and if you're REAL with yourself about the answers, you'll know whether She is The One!
Does She make You feel like You elevate or just deflate? When your conversation goes into combat, does she fight fair? There are certain comments that feel ferocious but are fair and then there are others that are just low-blows, which can be deafening and deadly to your heart and the relationship! When push comes to shove on important issues, do You both rise above it all and compromise, or do you get dragged down into the mire of minutia?
Are your Faiths (religious, spiritual or otherwise) compatible to give you a common foundation during times of incompatibility? Does she boost-up your Bravery or belittle your Being? Do You run and tell your boys that she's the best in bed or are you protective of her and give her the respect and privacy true intimacy deserves. Can you be yourself when you're with her, or does she make you feel guilty and ashamed when you are uncensored and uninhibited? Do children play into the equation? If so, have You seen her roll up her sleeves and get down and dirty so you know she is up for the task of raising a family? When You do something wrong, will you be forgiven or incessantly reminded? Remember, in the long run, we ALL reap what we sow!
A successful committed relationship is a Marathon, not a sprint. If these questions resonate with you and you've figured out the list of the Pros and Cons, hopefully your list reflects a pleasant majority of Pros! If so, I have two more questions for You. Do you know her ring size and when are You calling the jeweler?
If you've got a question about how to handle something bothering you in life, shoot us an email or ask the doctor himself @AskDocJ on Twitter!