A FitPerez reader is having some issues with her boyfriend's mother (and possible future mother-in-law) so she wrote life coach Dr. J for advice, asking:
My boyfriend and I are getting pretty serious, and I think we'll eventually get married. The problem is that his mother and I really don't get along. She's nosy and is always criticizing me…what I wear, how I cook, you name it. My boyfriend doesn't see how annoying his mother is and I worry that if we get married he'll take her side. Do you think our relationship will survive?
According to Dr. J:
It's going to be considerably close, but I do believe true love can overcome the future mother-in-law, regardless of how monstrous she may be. Remember, keeping your relationships alive often comes down to survival of the smartest, not the nastiest. Before you and your beau take a stand at the alter, your real concern is discussing when will he take a serious stand for YOU after you clue him in on his mother's chaffing behavior. The faster he figures that out, the less offensive the mother-in-law will be.
You have to be very diligent and dissolve all doubt and worry when it comes to your groom-to-be's bothersome parent because like it or not, she's part of the package. Create a couples' checklist of what needs to change and the steps you will take, and then get it done before your date is set! Chronicle change before crisis creeps in. This topic is not to be treaded upon lightly. How you deal with this hurdle is a very important indicator of how you will both handle inevitable challenges in your relationship down the road. If YOU and your groom-to-be can trek on this terrain successfully it will ratchet up your relationship and hopefully forecast a fulfilling future together.
Married life comes with no guarantees, however a little more harmony in the home can feel like a homerun when life places YOU in a slump. That's why it's so important to work through this together and figure out where your future mother-in-law will fit into your new life. Love can conquer ALL, as long as you are willing to sincerely transform from a couple into a dynamic-duo! Please keep in mind that one day, You too will likely become a loving in-law, and hopefully not an out of touch one, so proceed with Love and Respect.
If you've got a question about how to handle something bothering you in life, shoot us an email or ask the doctor himself @AskDocJ on Twitter!