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Porn And Relationships Part Deux

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Last month, a FitPerez reader was disgruntled about her boyfriend's obsession with porn.

As always, porn and masturbation are natural and can be a good relief if not done in excess.

Luckily for another reader, The good Dr. Karen is here to help her troubles with her man and porn.

Her question:

I've been with my boyfriend for a little more than 4 years now and he watches porn all the time. He watches while I sleep, by himself, and sometimes I even catch him masturbating… while I'm in the room woken up by him. This bothers me and he never really has much to say about it. Why do you think he does this and is this normal for men?

Dr. Karen's response:

I am sure your boyfriend's behavior has really stirred up a lot of feelings for you and questions what is going on with him. While it is very normal for both sexes to masturbate on a regular basis, any "normal" behavior can become problematic when done in excess. Clearly his behavior is upsetting you so talking to him about it is the first step, but this conversation must be done in a gentle way. I would suggest to pick your battles and approach the issue you think is the most important to you; asking him "why" he is doing this may result in embarrassment for him and could shut down the conversation further. If you are comfortable telling him how it makes you feel to catch him masturbating or are concerned about how much he is watching porn, I would begin there. Men use many different ways to distract themselves from what they are really thinking about-is he worried about heath, finances, future; did he recently experience a change in his life-loss of job, possible depression? Maybe he is using porn to escape from his discomforts. Regardless of the reason, you are upset about and it must be addressed before you can move forward in your relationship

Hope this helps! Thanks Dr. Karen!

Got any more questions? Tweet the Doc at @drkarenstewart or feel free to shoot us an email at Tips@FitPerez.com with "Question For Dr. Karen" in the subject line!

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