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A FitPerez reader is worried about a friend who is more focused on partying then getting an education. They wrote life coach Dr. J for advice on how to bring up the issue and persuade her to get her life back on track, asking:
I like to have a good time with my friends when we go out but I know where to draw the line. One of my friends has been going a little overboard when we go out and I am worried she may have a problem. She dropped out of school and all she does lately is hang out at her boyfriend's house with him and his buddies. How do I get her back on track?
According to Dr. J:
Whether it‘s high school or college, we can ALL use a breather from the books from time to time. However, it sounds like your gal-pal is getting an education outside the classroom that appears to be more appealing than looking at a chalkboard. She clearly is favoring fun and substances over the ping and pangs of being a scholastic superstar. It sounds to me that she is getting the type of attention and chemical distractions that just might not be for her highest good.
Getting your friend back on track can be a tricky, and possibly trying, course. We ALL can feel your genuine concern and care for your friend, so perhaps it’s time to have an "Academic Ambush." The next time you have some alone time with her, speak from your heart and uproot her from her unproductive rut by listing the concerns you have about the Boy-Contraband and let her know you’re worried it might be threatening her immediate and long-term safety and well-being. What she’s doing may feel good now, but you need to remind her every step she takes leads her forward in life, so she should be picking the right direction for her path. Every step counts!
You may also want to talk to her family, especially if she's hiding her behavior from her family. Now is the time to tattle-tale. You might lose a friend, but it’s worth the risk because you might also end up saving her Life. Standing by in silence will end up hurting your friend and also your heart. I do hope your friend surrenders to your loving support and sees your sincerity. Pointing out the pitfalls or even dragging a friend out of the trenches of life and rescuing them from themselves is no easy task, but it is a selfless act. So stand strong in your convictions of friendship and be proud that you want to help. Regardless of the outcome of your sincere attempts to help your friend, I commend You on any efforts You embark on.
If you've got a question about how to handle something bothering you in life, shoot us an email or ask the doctor himself @AskDocJ on Twitter!