We've all been there. You know, that good friend of yours that is dating someone terrible and you just don't want to be around them.
It's a hard situation.
But what if that situation was your wedding… and you don't want your friend's significant other to be there?? How would you handle that??
Enter Dr. J, and a FitPerezcious Reader in that very situation.
I'm getting married this year and don't want one of my best friends to bring the guy she is dating. They've had a rocky relationship and she says she wants to break up with him, plus I just don't think he's good for her. Everyone else that isn't married is being invited with a guest and I don't want to offend her or leave her feeling like the odd man out the whole time. So how do I deal with it?
Dr. J's response:
First and foremost, Congrats on your engagement! Your wedding day reflects so many wonderful dreams, hopes, and new beginnings. Being extra-sensitive and acutely aware of who you bring into your Wedding fold should be of paramount importance. Not wanting to offend someone, in my personal opinion, shouldn’t even enter into the equation, because you need to be true to yourself. Being forensic with your feelings and worrying about your friend is fine (Here comes the BUT!), BUT having YOUR way at all levels during such a sacred event should not be sacrificed. You want your day as precise, perfect and absolutely pleasurable as possible. Setting the stage for a possible strain anywhere near your new union is a NO-NO for me. The Company you keep says a lot about who you are, even more so on your Wedding Day. The people present should be your nearest and dearest. It’s OK to keep creeps and creatures out of any ceremony, metaphorically and literally. For the record, YOU are clearly nowhere near BrideZilla behavior. In actuality, your thoughts are quite concise and contained. As with all the other Wedding planning you’re dealing with, the idea is to Plot to Perfection. Invite her on her own and then make her your Go to Gal. Designate her as the busy bee during all the festivities. Someone needs to talk to the caterer, the photographer, the florist, the officiant? Guess who is on the job?! She will feel included and important and won’t feel left out or alone. She probably won’t even miss not having a date. I’m definitely not suggesting that you run her around to the point where she isn’t able to enjoy herself. Rather every bride still needs her team around her for those unforeseeable situations. I don’t think you need to discuss your plans with your friend unless she makes a point of bringing it up. And if that happens, be honest and speak from the heart. None of it should be offensive to her if your friend honors that it’s Your special day!
We love this advice.
Just be honest and speak from the heart is the BEST way to handle everything.
Congrats on your engagement, and we hope it's the most amazing day ever!
If you've got a question about how to handle something bothering you in life, shoot us an email or ask the doctor himself @AskDocJ on Twitter!