That is, if the new Pope even cares one ounce about a retired basketball player who loves Kim Jong Un!
As you can tell with all the fresh threats of destroying the U.S. and invalidating armistices with South Korea, North Korea is in a MUCH better place now that Dennis Rodman has visited! Now, he wants to fix the Catholic Church!
With his success in NK, he's just the man to do it!!
Apparently his "people" in Rome have been in touch with the… um… Papal secretaries? Pope agents? Cardinal managers?… at the Vatican and an attempt is in the works to arrange a meet with the next person to cover up horrible child-related scandals.
Here's what Dennis said:
"I want to be anywhere in the world that I'm needed … I want to spread a message of peace and love throughout the world."
Anywhere you're needed? Awesome! You can stay at home, then, because you aren't needed anywhere! Ha!
The other issue (beyond this being insane) is that the Catholic leaders are voting today, but Rodman doesn't land until tonight — so he might miss the white smoke after all! It'd be highly unlikely if someone was nominated right away though!
The weirdest thing about all of this is that Dennis insists that he broke through barriers in the DPRK. It's like he doesn't watch the news at all. We say it's time to leave the important stuff to experts, Dennis.
[Image via WENN.]