Here's some advice if you're a retired whatever and nobody is really paying attention to you anymore (bonus if you're not good at the whole father thing): hop on a plane, go to one of the most awful humanitarian areas in the world, pretend everything is great and then just go to town politically like you know what you're doing!
Then, you'll get countless interviews and articles, where you can talk about how much good you did (even though the country threatens your country with nuclear annihilation like a day after you get back), and you'll eventually get on the cover of Newsweek… just like Dennis Rodman!
It's fool-proof! Oh, wait, maybe we meant to say pro-fool! Either way, you'll be back in the limelight!
Dennis Rodman IS on the new cover of Newsweek, and for all the shenanigans he's been getting into internationally. All the help he's been giving that isn't really helping has been the talk of the nation, and we're sure other countries are wondering why we're allowing an ex-sports star go out and potentially ruin things on a global scale!
Nobody really has an answer, because nobody expected Dennis to do things like this — which, if we look at his track record of being super weird (which has always been fine by us, don't get us wrong!), this shouldn't really surprise us!
So, Dennis, congrats on the cover! Please stop trying to be a diplomat!
[Image via Newsweek.]