Yeah, we're NOT lying!!!
Author Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer just finished writing his new semen cocktail cookbook, Semenology: The Semen Bartender's Handbook, and while we automatically gagged when we saw the title, Photenhauer actually has a good reason as to why he put together his second book.
In the recipe manual, Paul teaches us how to create drinks using mint, zest, lemon and err… sperm. But just when we wanted to spit up our lunch, the author notes:
"If you want your partner to swallow, you should be willing to eat your own semen — I mean, it's your semen. Then I started thinking about it. People eat all kinds of weird shit. Eggs are the menstruation of chickens. Milk is the mammary excretion from cows. Semen is… at least it's fresh and you know who the producer is."
But don't go jerking someone off so you can stir up a tasty cocktail just yet. Creating food or drinks with semen has major health risks if you don't know that it's safe.
"If the food is thoroughly cooked, well-cooked, to destroy any life forms in the semen, like any viruses… that would be my first concern."
Which of course makes a lot of sense because you can easily contract an STD or HIV by drinking someone's jizz who might have a disease.
And we all know we've heard that spuzz has protein in it, but don't think that you'll be able to throw back some little swimmers to replace a hardy protein shake.
With that said, if you do decide to pick up Photenhauer's book, he recommends that you only shake up cocktails with man milk that you're familiar with because staying safe is what matters the most.
Now we know why women choose big schlongs over small ones… bigger penises probably produce more jizz, which probably make for better drinks.
Tags: paul fotie photenhauer, semen, semen cocktails, semenology the semen bartenders handbook