We aren't saying that the mushrooms in Ohio are so good they'll make you rip off your own penis, but rather they're so bad they'll make you rip off your own penis!
We wouldn't rip off another person's penis, let alone our own, so when we hear that a 41-year-old Ohio man was found naked, high on mushrooms, and covered in blood outside of a middle school last week — screaming like a madman — we're pretty shocked by it! LOLz!
Oh, and that blood was his own penis blood!
Here's what one of the cops said:
"He really wasn't saying much at all — a lot of yelling and screaming. He wasn't making sense. Officers couldn't really communicate with him in terms of constructive conversation."
Don't do drugs, you guys! Or at least be careful with them!
We aren't even asleep and we're already having nightmares! Gah!
[Image via AP Images.]