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Lance Armstrong Announces First Race Since He Admitted He Was A Cheater!

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooZportzLance ArmstrongBike It

lance armstrong new race cheater drugs doping

Does it get harder or easier to cheat after you've admitted to doing it?

On one hand, you'll have more people watching your every move — on the other, you don't really have to convince people supplying the illegal performance enhancers you're not a cop! LOLz!

Lance Armstrong has just announced his first race since admitting he was a liar, cheater, and completely untrustworthy person. You know, all despite being banned from cycling competitions FOR LIFE.

He'll be participating in The Des Moines Register newspaper's Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa in July. Here's what he had to say about it:

"I'm well aware my presence is not an easy topic, and so I encourage people if they want to give a high-five, great. If you want to shoot me the bird, that's OK too … I’m a big boy, and so I made the bed, I get to sleep in it."

What we don't get is why he feels the need to compete in ANYTHING anymore. The USADA can't take his bike from him — why isn't riding on your own enough? Why do you have to bring controversy to a good thing?

He continued:

"To be honest it's not a statement, it's not an experiment. It's just me wanting to go ride my bike with what in the past has been a friendly group of people that share the same interests. [I'm] just a dude like everybody who likes to ride bikes and likes to drink beer and has made his fair share of mistakes — and that's that."

Lying about doping at a world-level and cheating to win a huge amount of Tour De Frances isn't exactly what we'd call a "fare share" of mistakes. There's nothing normal about it, and it wasn't even a mistake — you did that shizz on purpose!

He then spoke a little about the $135 million in liabilities he faces from lawsuits:

"Whether it's settling cases or whether it's fighting some cases — because some have merit, some don't. But I'm committed to the process and that's probably as much as I would and could say about it. That's a tricky area there … unless you have $135 million you want to let me borrow, or have?"

Ha! Jokes! We're glad he feels so comfortable just months after his confession to just joke around with what he's done!

Seriously though, give it up with the organized races, Lance. The controversy for the decent folks putting it together isn't worth your vain reasons to show up. You've been banned for legit reasons!

[Image via AP Images.]

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10 comments to “Lance Armstrong Announces First Race Since He Admitted He Was A Cheater!”

  1. Bieber's Late Monkey says – reply to this


    The problem with Dikhead Armstrong is not just the doping and cheating, it's that he actively destroyed the careers of anyone who said that he had been doping.

    He's an exceptionally nasty twerp, and the sooner we all stop paying attention to him, the better. He should be stripped of all of his personal possessions, and forced to live in a cardboard box under a bridge.

  2. plicious says – reply to this


    first of all, RAGBRAI isn't a "race." his ban does not apply here. there is no winner. there is no time keeping. it's an organized ride–an experience. people spend a week on bikes–some in costumes–riding as a big sweaty mass through iowa's countryside, drinking beer, camping, and eating pie and porkchops on the way. any and all are welcome, regardless of experience or past transgressions. you know what else? forgiveness is extra awesome when it's hard and when it doesn't seem like the recipient deserves it. welcome back to iowa, lance. have fun!

  3. 3

    Can't criticize a brother for getting paid.

  4. hayley says – reply to this


    Sorry Perez, but until you’ve been a competitive athlete in any way, shape or form (whether it be high school, college, pro, or beyond) it is in your heart to just keep competing and playing that sport…U don’t just turn off the thing you love the most. It’s like asking a singer to not perform anymore…A singer, that has been singing his/her whole life for audiences all over the world, isn’t just going to start singing to themselves in the shower…There is no satisfaction in that…we are human beings, we aspire toward greatness, notoriety, and motivation. I’m not saying he isn’t in the wrong, but I’m not mad at him for competing again…as long as he is fair.

  5. 5

    Lance should go into politics. He would fit right in with the liars and cheaters there.

  6. Adam says – reply to this


    In a sport where all other participants that are there to win and were all doping; Lance won fair and square. Each and every rider he rode against has come out or has been outed as dopers. THAT makes it an even ground win. The fact that he was such a huge public figure and an American kicking ass in Europe, made him a saint in the US.
    The fact that he lied and defamed his accusers, is exactly what every other rider attempted to do and ultimately what took him down.
    Honestly, lets stop playing ignorant and acknowledge that he is one hell of an athlete.

  7. Darcy says – reply to this


    Re: Adam

    Completely agree. The entire is sport is corrupted by doping. Maybe they should evaluate the sport instead of hanging one man out to try.
    and if he wanted to continue to cycle, he should. As an athlete, you don't just shut off being competitive and doing what you love.
    Soon this will all quiet down and he can go on without being criticized around every corner.
    The man is an outstanding cyclist and an outstanding athlete.

  8. Jessie Huisinga says – reply to this


    plicious is right. RAGBRAI is NOT a race at all. No one wins. It is a ride across the entire state of Iowa just for fun. His USDA ban and previous doping issue are completely not related to this ride. Everyone is just in it to have a good time, drink some beers, and meet new people.

  9. ahperez says – reply to this


    I think this is the dumbest article I have ever read in my life. Actually, it's not an article, it's just trash. I mean just because you lost some weight Perez it doesn't make you an expert on competing and the overall culture. People, especially Americans have to get over their high moralistic values and accept that the Puritain way of living is only in the limited minds of the self-absorb. It's so very easy to say we should be guided by our conscience with it's fabricated by human beings. Please everyone else dopes themselves, drinks themselves to DUI's, take drugs, injects botox, make fortunes and never care about the poor sufferings, buy diamonds for their dogs while their own species is suffering and people like you are going to comment on idiotic events that happened to someone else. It's so silly to think that one is better than the other when everyone is morally indecent themselves on other levels. You shouldn't judge and impose your self-righteous opinions.

  10. teeter totter says – reply to this


    I honestly do not get why people watch bike riding on TV (sadly due to back injuries my bike riding days are pretty much over). I saw one event in the Olympics and it was boring as heck. Sorry bike riders.