Lance Armstrong's federal lawsuit wants $120 million out of him, but the disgraced cyclist has the most foolproof defense plan ever to get out of it. And it's absurd and hilarious and by 'foolproof' we mean it will NEVER WORK!
Are you ready for this??
Lance says that the case should be thrown out, because the Postal Service should have known he was doping all along.
We can't even believe he's bold enough to think that kind of defense would work, let alone have it take him 25 pages to say it! His reason behind it is that rumors of his PED use had gotten loads of news coverage, but nobody did anything, so it's not his fault that they kept supporting him even though he continued to ACTIVELY HIDE IT.
Flat-out, Armstrong and others on the team defrauded the government when they took sponsorship dollars from the Postal Service even though part of the deal was that no one would use performance-enhancing drugs. The only way Lance has a chance getting this dismissed is if he can prove that the Postal Service knew without a doubt that he was doping and then chose not to do anything about it!
Which won't happen. Because DUH!
Give us a break! LOLz!
[Image via AP Images.]
Tags: drugs, hilarious, icky icky poo, lance armstrong, lawsuit, legal matters, money, performance, rumors, suing