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Lance Armstrong's Federal Lawsuit Defense Is Hilarious! Find Out What It Is HERE!

| Filed under: Icky Icky PooDrugsLegal MattersLance Armstrong

lance armstrong federal lawsuit defense legal ridiculous

Lance Armstrong's federal lawsuit wants $120 million out of him, but the disgraced cyclist has the most foolproof defense plan ever to get out of it. And it's absurd and hilarious and by 'foolproof' we mean it will NEVER WORK!

Are you ready for this??

Lance says that the case should be thrown out, because the Postal Service should have known he was doping all along.

We can't even believe he's bold enough to think that kind of defense would work, let alone have it take him 25 pages to say it! His reason behind it is that rumors of his PED use had gotten loads of news coverage, but nobody did anything, so it's not his fault that they kept supporting him even though he continued to ACTIVELY HIDE IT.

Flat-out, Armstrong and others on the team defrauded the government when they took sponsorship dollars from the Postal Service even though part of the deal was that no one would use performance-enhancing drugs. The only way Lance has a chance getting this dismissed is if he can prove that the Postal Service knew without a doubt that he was doping and then chose not to do anything about it!

Which won't happen. Because DUH!

Give us a break! LOLz!

[Image via AP Images.]

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8 comments to “Lance Armstrong's Federal Lawsuit Defense Is Hilarious! Find Out What It Is HERE!”

  1. 1

    Why in the world do you hate Lance Armstrong so much??? I mean, I think the people he actually hurt hate him less than you do. He made a mistake, guided by a lot of other people, and he's paid for it. Why can't you ease off?

    Also, you do realize that this is his LEGAL TEAM's defence, right? He didn't personally think of this. So laugh at his lawyers, not at him, he's just listening to them. I also find it really hard to believe that so many people seemed to have known he was doping all along and the postal service had no idea. Someone within that deal had to know. They just chose to ignore it because at the time time it served their purposes. And now its made them look bad.

  2. 2

    Lance should deliver the mail for the rest of his life for his fake life. He lied openly to everyone. His cancer saved him which I am sure he knew in the end it would. If he didn't have Live Strong he wouldn't have anything. He ruined the lives of so many people who didn't deserve it.

  3. Kristina says – reply to this


    Re: pdrocksmysocks – Don't be an Asshat dude! Anyone that doea not loathe Lance Armstrong at this point has serious issues with miral fiber, THE BASTARD doped, cheated his many legitimate competitors, embarrassed countless supporters, was a crap rolemodel to our children, let down endless cyclist and cancer survivors, and HIS deefense is," nanny nanny thats what you get for trusting me so long?"The guy isn't even sorry, he is just sorry he git caught! He should be shamed everywhere he goes ans he needs to give back EVERY PENNY! I don't think Perez hates the guy, but like any normal human being at this point, is likely to be disgusted by him! Personally Lance Armstrong makes me sick

  4. 4

    What a waste of money this case is. He's wrong, he did something bad. He's not the first, or the last.

  5. Kristina says – reply to this


    Lance Armstrong is the biggest Asshat EVER! Who could possibly like him after he lied, doped, cheated his legitimate fellow competitors, ripped them and the sponsers off for millions in the process, was a crap rolemodel to our children and disappointed cyclists everwhere that worshiped him, and he was never sorry ( only sorry to get caught) and now this pathetic defense ( by his high paid lawyers yes, but ultimately because he couldn't do better himself, or like tell the truth maybe?) I think Lance Armstrong is disgusting.

  6. Merrill says – reply to this


    Ummm I'm sure USPS did know he was doping…. and he will probably be able to prove this. How else do you think the doctors that created their doping programs were allowed on the tour with him? Someone had to pay those guy and it wasn't the cyclists. Race teams put pressure on the cyclists to dope because they want them to WIN.

  7. Elodie says – reply to this


    Well he is kind of right, so he might win…

  8. Sarah says – reply to this


    Perez, you should stick to stalking celebrities in the world of entertainment and stay away from talking about athletes. They are an entirely different ball game. USPS made millions off of Lance Armstrong. And now they want to pretend they didn't know he was doping …. even though there were rumours about it from day one. And the only reason they are protesting it now is because they no longer have any connection to him, he no longer makes them any money. So they have one more shot at making money off of Lance Armstrong, and that's by suing him for doing the same thing that made them millions the first time around. His team's argument isn't hilarious, it actually makes an extremely valid point. You're just too caught up with the rest of the sheep who are too busy crying that Armstrong somehow did wrong by them, to see that he's no different from the rest of them.