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Larry David's Next Career Move: An Offensive & Defensive NFL Coordinator??

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larry david says he would be a good offensive and defensive nfl coordinator

Honestly, we wouldn’t put anything past this guy.

Larry David has spent over half of his life writing stories and he feels like that makes him an excellent candidate for being an offensive coordinator in the NFL.

And honestly, he's got some PRET-TY good ideas!

He told Rich Eisen:

“If they gave me a chance, I could turn the fortunes of an NFL team around. There’s no doubt in my mind. I write stories, so why couldn’t I draw up a play? What’s harder? I think a lot of writers could be offensive coordinators. I know I could do it.”

So what would he change?

“Here’s one thing I wouldn’t do. I wouldn’t be doing what Denver did at the end of that playoff game. I wouldn’t take a knee. How dare he take that knee! How dare he. Peyton Manning’s your quarterback and you’re taking a knee?… I’m an aggresive play caller and you know what else I am? I’m a fourth down guy.”

Larry then went on to explain that the reason two-minute drills are so successful is because they use all four downs. LOLz! And added:

“If it’s 4th-and-40 I’ll punt, OK? But my philosophy is we’ve got four downs. Go with your four downs.”

Are you cracking up yet? We are!

Just like Miley Cyrus, LD can’t stop there. He went on to talk about changes he’d make on defense:

“Here’s the big mistake on defense — they play these zones. So there’s these big seams. So you see the players and they’re like, ‘There’s a guy here and there’s a guy here, so I’m gonna go in the middle and go like this!’ And the quarterback, who can throw a ball 100 mph, goes, ‘Oh look, at that guy open.’ With me, I’m back in the school yard. I’ve got him, who do you got? If I’m the defensive coordinator, you’re not gonna see a running back out in the slot waiting when the quarterback can’t find a receiver. There’s not gonna be a safety valve in a David defense. You know why? That guys gonna be covered. You won’t have linebackers just standing around in a zone.”

And he added the final reason he’d be the best:

“I’m the only man who could defend a David offense… Rush like crazy! Make ‘em nervous!”

Srsly, is there a not funny bone in this man’s body?!

Also, these are some pretty sound theories on how to win a football game, dontcha think? Ha!

[Image via FayesVision/WENN.]

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