The East Hampton Library’s Authors Night was going swimmingly. Authors sat at the meet and greet table, ready to talk to fans and discuss literature with the masses.
Then Gwyneth Paltrow showed up with Chris Martin and kids Moses and Apple and stole the show!
Apparently that didn't sit well with other authors there, especially Christina Oxenberg, as Gwyneth's presence disrupted her own experience of the evening — because she had to sit right next to Gwyn and her huge bodyguards! So she took it into her own hands to protest. It's just too bad it was in a really ineffective way!
Here's Christina's story, in her own words, of how she tried to exact revenge on the famous vegan and her crowd-drawing cookbook:
“It’s All Good. Due to the inflexibility of the alphabet, I had the questionable good fortune to be seated directly beside [Paltrow] . . . Slowly yet unmistakably a line began to form in front of my section of table. These folks were hushed and reverential and had a particularly earnest and focused demeanor and casting furtive eyes around . . . the increasingly urgent question they posed, ‘Where is Gwyneth?’ . . . Then the divinity in question arrived with hubby, children and a couple of massive bodyguards. The worshippers blocked my view of the whole world.”
This is when Christina decided to hit up the food table and nab some “sloppy hamburgers” and “stinky steak sandwiches.”
“Gwyneth’s bodyguards blocked my re-entry despite my assurance I was just an author and pointing at my name tag. ‘No!’ they growled, body blocking me. So I was forced to crawl under the table. And there I sat with my meat products, wafting the excellent smells toward my sleek vegan neighbor. She ignored the siren smells of protein. We never did say hello, although I did try to sell my book to her sleek vegan children. No bites.”
We're sure there were more adult ways to handle this! LOLz!
Another author also tweeted about the incident! Here's what Jay McInerney had to say:
“Authors Night at East Hampton Library hijacked by movie stars with ghost-written cookbooks.”
Why can't everyone just be friends??
Still, we bet deep down those steak sandwiches were less stinky and way more seductive than Christina thought! Ha!
EDIT: It seems as if Christina has had some backlash from this! Here's what she just posted on Facebook:
Allow me to clarify, the divinity Ms. Paltrow was perfection itself. Gorgeous, and sweet and thoroughly professional. She was mobbed by adoring, worshipful fans and at all times she remained poised and gracious. Her bodyguards were only doing their job. And in fact she did need them.
While my writing style is cheeky and irreverent, my goal is simply to spin entertainment.
I'm delighted so many readers found my account amusing, I thoroughly enjoyed myself that day. And frankly I was grateful for the material as I knew it would make writing my Sunday blog all the easier. It wrote itself. It's just that I then forced the episode through the meat-grinder that is my sense of humor, merely to jazz things up. Certainly not with the intention of hurting anybody's feelings, or ridiculing anyone, that is not my style. Honestly, I have no beef with Gwyneth!
That's entertainment, folks!
Do U think she was out of line by saying the reflecting on her experience??
[Image via Facebook.]
Tags: author, bodyguard, books, bookz, children, christina oxenberg, facebook, food, gwyneth paltrow, kids, tacky and true, vegan, wacky