What the what??
Well, in his defense, bananas are packed with a great natural abundance of potassium. So he's got that going for him!
In Newington, Connecticut, officials said a man crashed into a Citgo with his SUV. He then stole a single banana.
Then he left.
AND HE'S STILL ON THE RUN!
Seriously. No money or merchandise, except for the banana, was taken.
We guess we'll do our part in this horrifying crime: call the Newington Police Department at 860-666-8445 if you know who this master banana thief is.
[Image via Newington Police.]