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New York Jets’ Kellen Winslow Jr. Was Not Masturbaiting In His Car! Had Synthetic Weed When Arrested!

| Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueZportzLegal MattersFootball

kellen winslow jr arrested for marijuana allegedly masturbaiting in parking lot

At least according to his rep!

It was reported that the New York JetsKellen Winslow Jr. got caught masturbaiting at a Target parking lot, but it seems like that’s not the case!

Initially, the New Jersey cops responded to a call from a 58-year-old woman about a man “pleasuring himself” with the window open at 5:30pm.

Apparently she tried to chat with the NFLer about the weather, then saw that he had a boner!!! That's when she made the call.

By the time the cops got there, they found two open Vaseline jars and synthetic weed which had the label “Mr. Happy” but no peen was in sight! The 30-year-old told the PoPo he got turned around while looking for a Boston Market.

Mr. Winslow was only arrested for having the drugs, which he said he uses to relax.

You can imagine how embarrassing this all was for Kellen, so his rep released a statement to clear it up:

"Kellen pulled over to a parking lot to smoke what he thought at the time was a legal substance. He changed his clothes in his vehicle as to not smell like smoke when he returned home. There was absolutely nothing inappropriate that took place and if there was police would have investigated further and charged Kellen which they did not. This will be the only time we will comment on this unfounded and ridiculous claim."

That sounds pretty reasonable, but we still wonder what that woman saw that looked like a penis!


[Image via AP Images.]

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7 comments to “New York Jets’ Kellen Winslow Jr. Was Not Masturbaiting In His Car! Had Synthetic Weed When Arrested!”

  1. DALEK says – reply to this


    What were the two open jars of Vaseline for? And who the hell smokes fake weed anymore?

  2. nobodyhavetimeforthat says – reply to this


    Yeah right! Another high-dollar attorney just feeding the public BS for another blatant coverup! He did it!

  3. 3

    Yes he was….

  4. 4

    Yeah why would a pro athlete want to ruin their body like that. Synthetic Weed? WTF Is that? I had to google it to figure it out. Sounds horrible :(

  5. 5

    Re: Tracy Bernard – check this out this site if you want to know more about this junk syntheticmarijuana.info

  6. 6

    omg can't a dude just rub one off in a parking lot…………… lol…. without some old lady asking him about the weather?!!! lolllllllllllllll. i mean … dude had Vaseline. He had plans !! too funny. this cracks me up. ugh, i need life.

  7. 7