We’ve seen several painful injuries happen at the World Cup in Brazil so far: U.S.’s Jozy Altidore strained his hamstring, Mexico’s Hector Moreno broke his leg, and superstar Neymar went down after a knee to the back fractured a vertebra!
But those all sound like heaven compared to what Argentina’s Javier Mascherano suffered in his team’s semifinal match versus the Netherlands on Wednesday.
DUDE TORE HIS ANUS!!!
DOUBLE. YOU. TEE. EFF!!!
The rip (vom) occurred in extra time as Dutch midfielder Arjen Robben made a break down the field and had a clear shot on goal. But just as he was about to kick his team to a 1-0 win, Mascherano made a masterful slide tackle that knocked the ball out of bounds and kept Argentina in the game!
It also however TORE HIS ANUS!!!
That explains why he doubled over in pain after the play. Many wondered what had gone wrong on the field since the tackle appeared to be clean. Little did onlookers know, the real foul happened on his butt hole.
What’s even crazier - this is the guy who also sustained a possible concussion in the first half of the same game! He went back in after only 2 minutes of examination! And then he, you know, TORE HIS ANUS!!!
Mascherano explained his mind-blowing (and ass-ripping) injury after the Argentinians won in penalty kicks. His celebrations were dampened just a bit as he said:
"I tore the anus. I don't want to sound crude. Robben game me an opportunity when he took a touch; he lost a second and I won. What I did anyone could have done. To be in the final you need a bit of luck.”
A bit of luck and now, we’re guessing, A LOT of ointment.
Well buddy, we’d say rest up but, we’re sure sitting isn’t exactly easy for you right now…
[Image via AP Images.]
Tags: argentina, arjen robben, body, brazil, football, game, germany, health, hurt, injury, javier mascherano, match, medicine, netherlands, ouchie!, player, soccer, world cup, zportz