Imagine this: you’re on the train, riding the rails through Massachusetts when all of a sudden you’re like, “Is it raining sh*t outside?”
The reason being because a giant turd just landed smack dab on your window!
According to police in Uxbridge, MA, this sh*tty scenario is actually happening in the New England state! So much so that law enforcement officials are now warning the crapping criminals to knock it off!
"If we catch you with your pants down defecating on the train you will be charged with everything we can find that fits the elements to the crime."
That is the REAL warning from the town’s police department today!
OK, well while we think taking a dump on a train is probably something that should not be allowed, we have to give these vandals a slow clap for pulling this poop stunt off!
Think about it: these kids (we’re assuming some punk-ass kids are behind this, right?) actually had a hot sh*t in the chamber before they dropped trou, carefully positioned themselves OVER the side of a bridge and then fired away as an Amtrak whizzed by!
Disgusting or not, that’s pretty impressive! SUPER DANGEROUS, butt still (lol!). To time your bowel movements to the time of a passing train?! Talk about staying regular!
But we stand with the brave men of the Uxbridge Police Department. They’ve seen enough feces in their time on the force. Enough is enough! You may proudly refer to yourselves as massholes, but you don’t have to treat your state like a giant toilet.