There. Are. No. Words.

Literally! Prince's riveting new remix is 80% instrumental!!

Don't worry, though — the purple guitar god still shreds like a TMNT villain!

Ch-ch-check out his radically wild and thoroughly enjoyable rendition of Let's Go Crazy (above)!

We can't exactly call it an improvement on the 1984 original, but it still feels fabulously fresh!!

We'd love for Prince & his brand new backing group, 3rd Eye Girl, to re-release every Purple Rain track this fashion!!

In the meanwhile, we're gonna purify ourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka with Appollonia, LOLz!!

No one can sing like Jeff Buckley could!

So how will someone ever play him in a biopic? Even someone as dreamy as Penn Badgley?

Ch-ch-check out the video (above) to see- and hear- Penn give us a peek at his amazing turn as the tragic musician in Greetings From Tim Buckley!

OMG! Seriously, that voice gives us chills!!!

Or was that the shirtless scene? LOLz!

Once upon a midnight dreary, while the hunktacular Liam Hemsworth pondered weak and weary… Rawk! Nevermore mind!

Our poetical side often gets the best of us, but The Raven actually has nothing to do with the Edgar Allen Poe classic!

Chris "The Raven" Black is a super-powered fugitive in a dystopian El Lay who evades robot cops by means of telekinesis and parkour. Sources close to Universal Pictures reportedly swear the studio hopes Miley Cyrus' fiancé will take on the awesome role!

Hooray!

No more playing second fiddle to

One Direction wax figures are ALMOST here!!!!!!!

What'd you think? We'd get replicas of our favorite brit boy banders over night?? Silly Directioners!

Each of the sexy sweeties were measured every inch of the boys' manly bits so when you go visit them at Madame Tussaud's in London (April 18), NYC (July 19), or Sydney (October 24) it will be like they are ACTUALLY there.

With all the rumblings of a break up, at least we can sleep tight at night knowing their wax versions will be together forever and ever and ever… or at least until a fire gobbles them up (but we shudder at the thought).

Ch-ch-check out the intense celebrity wax sculpting process (above)!!!