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RHONY's Simon Van Kempen Ejaculated All Over His Wife When She Gave Birth To Their Son

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And good night, everybody! We're officially done here.

No, but really. Let's just dive right into this…

We think we all know why Real Housewives of New York's Simon van Kempen and Alex McCord were fired from the show. Besides having a boring story line, they also made people um, let's just say they made things a little uncomfortable.

And here's reason #1… (reason #2: Read Leather Pants, BTW)

The couple wrote a memoir a couple years ago called Little Kids, Big City, which featured a shocking (and we mean SHOCKING) event in the first chapter.

In the book, Alex discusses her pregnancy with their son François, her choice to deliver him in a birthing center, and then, oh yeah, THAT TIME WHEN HER HUSBAND EJACULATED ON HER WHILE SHE WAS GIVING BIRTH.

Let us let Alex explain the whole scenario:

"Once he was finally out of my body, I experienced a tsunami of endorphins that was almost orgasmic, and I understand completely the stories other women have written about ecstatic birth. Simon was sitting behind me at the point of birth, and later when we untangled ourselves he discovered he'd actually ejaculated though hadn't felt any of the normal lead-up to that. It may seem distasteful to some, and definitely neither of us was thinking of sex at the time, but with the rush of emotion and my lower nerve endings going crazy, it's not too far a stretch to say that it's a profound experience."

So, let's get this straight.

Not only was Simon somehow cradling (???) his wife while she was giving birth, but he also had his pants down?? Wait, wait, wait…

And somehow watching his wife pull a child out of her body gave him an erection?

Are we missing something here? Or do we pretty much have all the facts here.

We'd say that we'd like to find out more to really get to the bottom of this - but, nope. We're just going to leave this right here and let U process it for yourself.

In other news, is anyone else excited for the upcoming season of RHONY?? Are we ready for Sonja to continue flashing her undercarriage to us? Will Ramona's eyes get bigger and crazier?

We have a whole season to find out….

[Image via WENN.]

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