.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "David Beckham Tearfully Retires From Soccer As Family Watches His Final Professional Game!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Jada Pinkett Smith Says Daughter Willow Eventually Will Make A")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Beyoncé Dropping Hints About Pregnancy On Tumblr?! See HERE!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Beyoncé's Baby Bump Will NOT Derail Her North American Tour! She Plans To Perform Preggo!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Alexander Skarsgård Is The Perfect Perch For Child At His Movie Screening!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Halle Berry Makes Baby Bumpin' Look Easy In West Hollywood!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "It's True! Beyoncé Is Pregnant!!!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Kim Kardashian Thanks Cheryl Cole For Having Her Back! And Her Bump!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Lisa Ling Gives Us First Look At Miracle Baby Jett!")
.fpthumb.center.jpg "Teen Mom Farrah Abraham: James Deen Wanted To Date Me!!!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Teen Mom Farrah Abraham Is NOT Pregnant From Sex Tape!!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Kim Kardashian Sends Out Musical Baby Shower Invitations!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Teen Mom Farrah Abraham Wants To Be A Role Model For The Other Teen Moms")
.fpthumb.center.jpg "Teen Mom Farrah Abraham Is Looking To Buy A 3.3 MILLION Dollar Home!!!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Demi Lovato Says She Wants To Be A Mommy In Five Years!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Teen Mom Farrah Abraham On Early Sexual Experience! The Back Door Was Opened YEARS Ago!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Nicole Richie Takes Grown Up Harlow And Sparrow For Australian Coffee!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Angelina Jolie's Brother James Haven Is SUPER Proud Of His Little Sis!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Bethenny Frankel & Bryn VS Ice Cream: Round 2!!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Jennifer Aniston Postpones Wedding To Undergo Fertility Treatments!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Brooke Mueller Denied Again! Denise Richards Remains Guardian Of Charlie Sheen's Boys!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Britney Spears Says She Wants A Daughter!!!")
.fpthumb.center.jpg "Farrah Abraham's Porn Partner James Deen Is Upset With The Teen Mom!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Halle Berry Cheers Up Nahla With Some After School Shopping!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Heather Morris Has A Little Baby Bump On Her Dog Walk!!!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Angelina Jolie Did NOT Tell Her Father Jon Voight About Her Double Mastectomy!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Kim Kardashian's Baby Shower Date Revealed! But Will Her Date Be Kanye West?!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Charlie Sheen Claims Brooke Mueller Only Wants Kids Back For The Child Support! Gross!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Angelina Jolie's Kids Provide Extra Support While She Undergoes Surgery!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Kourtney Kardashian's Fling Writes Her A Letter: Paternity Test Or I'll Sue!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "Teen Mom Farrah Abraham May Move To Los Angeles For A New Reality Show!")
.fpthumb.top-left.jpg "13 Year-Old Cancer Patient Talia Castellano Designs Her Own Clothing Line!")
Children's Classics Condensed To Sound Bites
Are you always on the lookout for new books to read to your kids but worried about what kind of message they'll get from it?
Are you tired of reading reviews that are longer than the books themselves?
If so, for the Twitter generation, we present Classic Children's Books In 9 Words Or Less!
Green Eggs And Ham: Don’t take moldy food from strangers.
Where the Wild Things Are: You will never, ever sleep again.
Peter Pan: Child abduction can be fun and adorable!
Winnie the Pooh: A boy and his pre-diabetic bear.
Curious George: A guy and his monkey. Like Michael Jackson!
Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret?: No boobs for you.
The Very Hungry Caterpillar: Bugs eat their feelings, too.
The Lorax: Al Gore was right about everything.
The Cat in the Hat: Seriously, your parents suck, kid.
The Secret Garden: I got 99 problems and cholera ain’t one.
Goodnight Moon: Seriously, stop stalling and go the f**K to bed.
For more HIGHlarious blog entries like this one, be sure to check out NICKMOM!
Tags: blog, books, child, children, highlarious, kid, kids, message, mom, parent
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