Fergie is back!
And has so many amazing moments, we had to break it down GIF by GIF!
[Image via Instagram.]
But the former Teen Mom is simultaneously explaining why she's not responsible for any wrongdoing!
"So the Night of St.Patricks like everyone else who is 21 years of age or older I was out and actually with family…
…when I was put in the position to be the driver and make sure we get home safe that evening I totally was only worried about my one family member…
I know myself and I had not drank to the extent to be negligent…
By grabbing my car and simply going around a corner to park, as well while stopping on the corner and driving slow and not exceeding a speed limit of over 15mph I was by no way or shape deserving of a cop walking over to my Parked car,
and then When I told him what I was worried about which was “Finding my family member and now I can’t see her” he immediately demanded all the regular documentation, and wanted to just put me in the back of the cop car…
(hint NO SOBRIETY TEST, and No care of what I’m worried about , he does not let my friend just take me home in my friends car… and by this point I’m pissed)
..So I just say fine take me to the station for no reason! When I’m at the station this cop just kept pressing my buttons.
…he then hands me a type of breathalyzer, does not state how this one works, (also I’m sick from a virus going around major sinus and alot of coughing and congestion) so hard to breathe, so because I don't know how long to breathe, etc. this cop tells me I’m purposely refusing to take this breathalyzer test correctly (another way to continue to piss someone off)
so I quit talking to this cop because he clearly has no idea what the f–k he’s doing and now probably can’t wait to release a asswhole cop report to the media (WHICH HE DID, so stellar specially about a reality star)
then I have a second cop give me a normal real breathalyzer test, he stats how to hold your breathe and handle the breathalyzer (THANK GOD 1 normal person all night)
when the alcohol content is shown, which I did not see personally it was .145 that is a number of legal intoxication, no doubt but like I mentioned I know how to handle myself and I was concerned about safety.
So I was released and the asswhole cop who kept trying to make everything worse for myself was shouting loudly” I’m shocked she only blew that, she should be in jail”- ya what a dumbass…so the point is, that’s practically the story and the rest is unneeded history."
Well, that was.. lengthy. Suffice to say, Farrah is not denying she blew a .145 (almost twice the legal limit), but wants us to know that she knows how to handle herself.
If you've ever had to take the keys away from your drunk friend, some of this might have sounded familiar.
If you're wondering whether you've had too much, you've had too much. You don't have some special insight the rest of us lack.
Just DON'T drink and drive. Period.
[Image via SULIA.]