16 And Pregnant star Nikkole Paulun was due to give birth at the end of this August, and she was very excited.
She already knew what she was having, a boy, and she already had a name for him, Ashton.
But near the very end of her pregnancy - something felt wrong.
Here's what Nikkole said:
“Everything was going okay and last month, my doctor told me that if everything was okay, I could deliver on Aug. 25, which was a week before my due date. But then on July 27, I felt really weird all day and I kept telling my mom something didn’t feel right.”
Nikkole went to a doctor to try and determine what was wrong, and that's when she found out the horrifying news:
“We saw a doctor to try and find the heartbeat and they couldn’t find it. But I thought I still felt him moving, so they took me for an ultrasound and they weren’t letting me look at it when they did it. She got up to get something else, so I knew something was wrong. They just told me, ‘We’re sorry. He doesn’t have a heartbeat. We’re going to have to deliver to prevent infections and everything.’”
Nikkole was understandably mortified over news of her miscarriage. She was so inconsolable that, after doctors delivered the stillborn baby, she decided to forgo an autopsy that would've determined what happened.
However doctors did test the stillborn baby to determine if it had been drugs that killed him, but those results came back negative.
“I cried. I was like in shock. I just couldn’t understand why and I was confused. I didn’t think that was actually going to happen. They gave me the chance to get an autopsy, but I chose not to. When he was born, they took him and they drug tested him to make sure I didn’t do drugs and kill him.”
Although she hid the terrible news - she did tell her 3-year-old son Lyle his brother would not be coming home.
“I didn’t want to tell anybody. I fought so hard to keep him that I was just ashamed and embarrassed. We just told [her son] that he went to heaven. But he didn’t really understand.”
Nikkole is understandably still dealing with the traumatic event in her life, and showed as much when she said:
“When I found out he was a boy, I bought a teddy bear and we had him sewed inside his teddy bear. And when I pray, I’ll hold the teddy bear. I’m just still confused and in shock. I did really love him.”
Ugh, this is just way too sad!
We're so sorry for Nikkole and her family, but at least she has a healthy son and we're sure each day after this tragic occurrence will get a little bit easier for her.
Such an event would be difficult for anyone to overcome, but it's especially hard to deal with a tragedy such as this when one is as young as she is.
[Image via Twitter.]
Tags: 16 and pregnant, baby, miscarriage, nikkole paulun, pregnancy talk, reality tv, sad sad, son, stillborn