Now that's a poem!
Beyoncé recently appeared in a new fashion spread for CR Fashion Book, but it wasn't her flawless looks that had our attention.
We already knew all about that!
Apparently people will do literally ANYTHING for internet fame, and that includes having sex with a Hot Pocket!
For as much as we wish this was a joke, a Twitter user by the name of Thot Pocket, actually did this, and the worse part is he got the whole thing on video!
It all started when he first made a Vine of himself having sex with a box of Pop Tarts (are you catching on to the pattern here?), which was quickly removed from the website! In protest, or something like that, Thot sent out a message to his followers saying if he got 420 retweets, he would post a Vine of himself getting busy with some Hot Pockets!
Well, he quickly got the retweets he asked for, headed to the store to buy a pack of Ham & Cheese Hot Pockets, and went home to put on some Barry White, if you catch our drift! Thot spoke out about the disgusting deed and went into WAY too much detail on how it all went down:
"I tried doing it without a condom and it was just, like, way too hot. I put it in the fridge for a little bit and I was like, 'Dude, I’m gonna have to use a condom if I’m gonna actually stick my dick in the whole Hot Pocket.'"
Um, GROSS!!! Although we guess it's probably a good thing that he used a condom considering there's been diseased meat found in Hot Pockets recently!
His plan somewhat seemed to work as his followers on Vine jumped to around 3,000 and 6,000 on Twitter, but both accounts were suspended because apparently having sex with food is a big no-no on social media!!
So what kind of person would do something like this, you ask? Well Thot is just your typical New Hampshire teen who loves to tweet. Oh, and did we mention he works at a RESTAURANT?!?!
We hope his boss knows about this, because it seems pretty obvious to us that he should NOT be trusted around food!
Oh, and if you're thinking about doing this yourself, 1.) You shouldn't and 2.) This is his stupid response to that:
“Yeah, I would definitely recommend it, if you’re lonely. I wouldn’t recommend putting it on Vine, but I’d recommend fuckin’ a Hot Pocket probably. It wasn’t bad. It’s messy, though.”
[Image via Twitter.]