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Sarah Hyland Would 'Write Letters' In Her Head To Loved Ones While Having Thoughts Of Suicide

Sarah Hyland Health Issues

Sarah Hyland‘s health issues have taken a toll.
As we previously reported, the Modern Family starlet opened up about contemplating suicide over her kidney struggles, having had two transplants.
Related: Sarah Hyland Shares Positive Health Update
On Friday’s The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Sarah continued to share about how her mental health was at the time, saying she was “very, very, very, very close” to taking her own life. The 28-year-old explained:

“I would write letters in my head to loved ones — of why I did it, my reasoning behind it, how it’s nobody’s fault. And I didn’t want to write it down on paper because I didn’t want anyone to find it. … I didn’t want anyone to know I was that close because if I knew, they would try to persuade me.”

Hyland continued:

“At the time, I was 26, and after 26, 27 years of always being sick and being in chronic pain every single day and you don’t know when you’re going to have the next good day, it’s really, really hard.”

And it wasn’t just her kidney dysplasia that was affecting her health, but also endometriosis and an abdominal hernia, with both led to even more surgeries. Sarah told Ellen she had a shocking six surgeries in the past couple of years alone and 16 total over her whole life.
In addition, she suffered from gout, a severely painful form of arthritis which happens when too much uric acid crystallizes and deposits in the joints, telling the comedienne:

“I’ve been through a lot of pain; one of the most painful things I’ve ever had.”

This is all while working on the ABC sitcom, but even the support of her costars wasn’t enough to pull her out of her dark place. The starlet confessed:

“It ended up being myself that got me out of that. I had to do it on my own, I told myself I had to do it on my own.”

But she credits “talking to someone and saying it out loud” helping her:

“I’d been saying, ‘I think I need to go see a therapist again,’ And they were like, ‘Why do you need to go see a therapist, you can just talk to me?’ And when I said it out loud they were like, ‘Oh you need to go see a therapist!’ And that’s when I was like, ‘Okay, I don’t think you’re going to help me. I think I need to really do this on my own and really do even more digging and soul searching.’… Just saying it out loud helped immensely because I kept it to myself for months and months at a time. And saying it out loud really helped me. Every person with their anxiety, or depression, or suicidal thoughts, every individual is different. So I wouldn’t rely on everything I say, I’m just sharing my story. But I think talking to someone and saying it out loud really, really makes it sound almost ridiculous and puts everything in perspective.”

You can watch her get candid and share her story (below):

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
[Image via Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.]

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Jan 11, 2019 07:37am PDT