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Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Adorable & Quacking! Disgruntled Worker Sends Ex-Boss Over 1,000 Ducklings!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & True

duck release

What the hell is going on in the world that THIS constitutes as revenge? Is it opposite day?!

Scorned Chinese builder Chiu Xiang arranged for 1,130 live ducklings to be sent to his ex-boss Bing's house, and a poultry farmer made the special, cute delivery.

Apparently, the dispute was over a left over bill! No, NOT a duck bill, you quack!

Last year, Chiu quit his job but claimed that Bing owed him the equivalent of

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Chris Brown Sentenced To 1,000 Hours Of Hard Labor & Put Back On Probation! Get Deets HERE!

Filed under: RihannaLegal MattersChris Brown

chris brown sentencing probation reinstated 1000 hours community service rihanna assault lied

Uh-oh!! The s**t just hit the fan!

Today a judge sentenced Chris Brown to a whopping 1,000 hours of community labor and also reinstated the probation stemming from his horrific assault of ex-girlfriend Rihanna.

The district attorneys went to great lengths to argue that the singer lied about completing his prior community service and submitted bogus records. Apparently their arguments were persuasive because 1,000 additional hours is is quite a lot!

Think about it!! Chris could pick up highway trash or scrub off graffiti in parks for well over a month straight, and he still wouldn't hit his mark!! Yikes!

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Sofia Vergara Is Still Stunning While Eating A $1000 Gold Sundae

It's hard to outshine a $1000 gold leaf ice cream sundae, but if one person can do it, it's Sofia Vergara.

Harper's Bazaar's August cover girl met up at Serendipity 3 with Laura Brown to discuss everything from her favorite designers to her Hollywood fashion muses — all while eating some of NY's finest desserts!

And of course Sofia shows off her ample bosom in a Dolce & Gabbana dress!

We just want a taste of that…. gold cherry!

Watch her slurp up all that sweet goodness (above)!

P.S. Can anyone tell us where sexy Sofia bought that Valentino coat because we need it!

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Daniel Day-Lewis Joins 2013 Mille Miglia Road Race In Vintage Car!

Filed under: Film FlickersEtc.

daniel day lewis road race car vintage 1000 miles europe

If you've been wondering what Daniel Day-Lewis has been doing with his time off since living the life of Abraham Lincoln, well, you might be a bit surprised!

He's NOT vacationing somewhere tropical, he's NOT playing rounds of golf every day!

He's joining road races — specifically, the 2013 Mille Miglia road race — with a slick-ass vintage car! LOLz!

Daniel's got a a 1953 Jaguar XK 120 that he plans on driving from Brescia to Rome and back in three days! That's around 1000 miles!

We hope he's got the skill and courage to pull it off… then again, it's not like it's actually 1953. There are gas stations and auto-shops like every half mile now! Ha!

Still, we hope it's an amazing experience for him!

[Image via Theo/WENN.]

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Kristen Wiig Tells Fancy People She Hasn't Pooped In Four Days

Filed under: Silly!Kristen Wiig

Kristen Wiig Tells Fancy People She Hasn't Pooped In Four Days

Kristen Wiig deserves 1000 honesty points and box of prunes for her constipated confession!

Last night, as the Bridesmaids star was honored at Elle's Women in Hollywood, Kristen got up to make her speech and told to the all the guests in the banquet hall at Four Seasons in Beverly Hills:

"I do want to say something from the heart, something actually kind of serious and truthful," she said after Judd Apatow introduced her. "I have not pooped in four days—four days! I've been travelling. I'm nervous. I'm getting concerned. I'm wearing a tight dress."

HA!

As her speech continued the Wiigster took a more serious turn. She got a little choked up when she started speaking about her writing partner, Annie Mumolo.

Misty-eyed, she confessed:

"I'm getting emotional because I'm drinking champagne."

Then, looking down at her backed up tummy she added:

"It's like, 'Drink alcohol! Get it moving.'"

Guess she can't be serious for too long!

We LOVE Kristen's candidness!

Not a lot of ladies have the balls to drop a big'ol potty joke like that at in such a fancy setting. But then again, not every lady wrote a movie were a bride takes a poo in the middle of the street! HA!

[Image via Ramey Pix.]

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Poor Joe Jonas! He Has WAY Too Many Clothes

joe-jonas-has-too-many-clothes.jpg

Joe Jonas has a big problem, ya'll.

The JoBro confessed at New York Fashion Week he has more clothes than he knows what to do with because he loves fashion too damn much.

Says Joe:

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Gold Digging Dog Eats $1000 Cash

Filed under: DogFunnyCrazzzzy

dog-eats-moneynomey.jpg

The Lawrenson family is trying to pay off their car. Christy Lawrenson said:

"My husband and I are trying to pay off my car, and so every time we save $1,000, we just take it to the bank and we just put it in the account, so we have no checks."

So she withdrew her money, paper clipped it together and left it in an envelope on her counter, then left for work.

When her husband came home on his lunch break, the envelope was gone.

He looked all around and found pieces of hundred dollar bills scattered across the living room floor.

Her husband fed the dog peroxide (a safe way to induce vomiting). He said:

"I took the money from the vomit and put it in a bag and saved it for him because I didn't want to puzzle it back together. It was still not real to me even though I had dug through vomit all afternoon."

They took the pieces to the bank and were able to retrieve $900.

They sent the last, totally destroyed bill, to the US Treasury, along with a letter of explanation, hoping for a reimbursement.

"I didn't really see that one coming and I guarantee we'll keep money away from now on."

So remember, don't leave your money within reach of a hungry dog, or else you might be explaining to the Treasury, "my dog ate my homework $1000!"

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