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What The Tabs Are Talking About!

jennifer aniston ryan gosling christina aguilera sandra bullock britney spears justin timberlake jessica biel mila kunis maculay culkin star october 25 2012 magazine tabloid cover

OOOH WE JUST LOVE STUFF LIKE THIS!!

Looks like some pissed off housekeepers wanted to sell their stories to the tabs this week! And according to Star, certain celebrities are being exposed for the unimaginable!

And seeing as how the 50 Shades sex act shocker is the only one that doesn't include a female pronoun, we're gonna have to assume they're wanting us to believe that's about Ryan Gosling.

Unless of course they're being jerks and just playing with our emotions! Sometimes they can be torturous, you know…

But seriously… who the hell hides cheeseburgers under their bed?? It's not like any of these people are broke! Sounds like they're just too embarrassed… oh no, binge alert!!

And shut the hell up — what are they saying about Britney Spears and meth?? We may just have to go out and buy this fan-fiction! LOL!!

BUT ANYWAYS…

If you wanna read all about Jessica Simpson's weight issues,

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Ryan Gosling Definitely Is NOT Up For 50 Shades… Boo!!

ryan gosling 50 shades grey

OMG!! So who will it be already!?!

We need to know who to think about when we're reading 50 Shades of Grey over and over again!!!

We got really excited when we heard little rumors here and there of Ryan Gosling's potential casting in the sexy film adaptation.

But according to author E.L. James:

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Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux Reunite For Birthday Sex Luvin!

justin theroux jennifer aniston birthday

Ahhh… sweet, sweet love!

We're so happy Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are still together. We knew better than to believe those blasphemous rumors!

But in case any of you were still skeptical, today is Justin's 41st birthday!! And for this year's celebration of his exit from the womb, he's meeting up with JennyJenJen down in Wilmington, NC!

She's been

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Emma Watson Clears The Air! Is She Tying Herself To 50 Shades Or Not!?!

emma watson denies fifty shades casting

50 Shades of Grey has so many hands in its business right now, it's not even funny!

And while there's so many contenders for the role of Anastasia Steele right now, let's talk about Emma Watson!

While many believed she was the strongest lead for the role, she's come out and said:

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50 Shades Of Angelina! Jolie Thrown Into The Bed Of Anastasia Steele Potentials!

angelina jolie 50 shades of grey casting

Whips and chains and ball-gags?! Sounds more like Angie circa 2000! You know, the Angie who liked to wear blood vials and have sex in limos.

Now THAT girl we can see playing Anastasia Steele … but sorry, this news seems very doubtful to us.

Not only is Angelina Jolie super busy with other work, why would she go after the role of a college-aged innocent?

We're hearing things here in WeHo, things we're not believing. Things that people are saying like:

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