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Gwyneth Paltrow Will NEVER Eat This Animal Because It's 'Too Smart' To Be Food!

Filed under: Gwyneth PaltrowDietsInstagram

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This might be hard to swallow.

Gwyneth Paltrow has always been one to recommend her annoyingly restrictive diet to others — but there's one food she won't eat, even on a cheat day!

On Sunday, the Goop founder revealed that she will NEVER be caught eating octopus because she considers the creature "too smart to be food."

Related: Gwyneth Wants You To Live Your Best Life For $90 A Month!

The topic apparently came up when the 44-year-old and her staff were swapping restaurant recommendations in their L.A. office Slack group.

One Goop staffer suggested ordering the BBQ octopus from Cliff's Edge in Silver Lake, causing Paltrow to go off on an Instagram tirade about the majestic cephalopod.

The Mortdecai actress admitted she couldn't stomach eating octopus after learning about their astounding cognitive activity, writing:

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Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You To Live Your Best Life For $90 A Month!

Filed under: Gwyneth PaltrowHealthWellness

Gwyneth Paltrow releases Goop Wellness.

Oh hell, here we go again.

Gwyneth Paltrow has taught us how to steam vajayjays and "consciously uncouple," in addition to selling us some of the most incomprehensibly weird and expensive items EVER, and now she's got our health on her mind.

Related: Gwynnie Tries A Goat Milk Cleanse

The actress and Goop founder has just announced the release of Goop Wellness, a monthly multi-vitamin regimen that promises to make women feel less tired and more productive in their lives. She cares, people!

The vitamins are given wacky names like, "Why Am I So Effing Tired?" "The Mother Load," "High School Genes," and "Balls In The Air," and cost $90 for a monthly pack and $240 for a three-month pack.

These supplements were also rigorously vetted and formulated by actual doctors, so you know they're legit. Or they should be anyway.

Per the website:

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FUCK SAGE — Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You To BURN Your Bras!

Light 'em up!

Gwyneth Paltrow is actually advising Goop readers to burn their bras!

Ahead of Valentine's Day, the site is suggesting a "fire ritual" to help you let go of your old lovers and help you move on!

Sounds a bit much, don't you think??

Related: Gwyenth Would Really Like You To Own Organic Condoms

But as Goop writer and relationship expert Suzannah Galland explains, there's no more perfect time than now:

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Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks Chris Martin Would Still 'Take A Bullet' For Her & Reveals More 'Weird' Thoughts In InStyle!

Gwyneth Paltrow stars on the February cover of InStyle!

Gwyneth Paltrow is starting off 2017 right… with her own cover of InStyle!

The actress actually stars on the February issue, teasing slivers of skin at her midriff and below her boobs! So risqué!

Of course, there's more to the Goop creator than just her scintillating editorial featuring fashions from Dior, Louis Vuitton, and Fendi (to name a few).

Related: Gwyneth Thinks It's "Exciting" Trump Won The Election

Inside the glossy though, Apple and Moses' momma talks her relationship, ahem conscious uncoupling, with their dad Chris Martin.

Gwyn spilled:

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Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks It's 'Exciting' That Donald Trump Won The Election! See What She Said!

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It's an exciting time to be Gwyneth Paltrow!

While the rest of America is still living in united states of fear and confusion over Donald Trump's presidential election win, life for the Goop founder has never been better!

Over the weekend, the 44-year-old spoke at the Airbnb Open conference in Los Angeles, where she declared it was an "exciting time" for our country — because we genuinely don't know what's going to happen under the leadership of a business-savvy man child!

Photo: Gwyneth Takes Selfie With Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, & Nicole Richie!

According to Page Six, Paltrow said to the audience:

"It's such an exciting time to be an American because we are at this amazing inflection point. People are clearly tired of the status quo, and… it's sort of like someone threw it all in the air and we're going to see how it all lands."

Hopefully, it doesn't land with thousands of Muslim families being dejected from the country like many are fearing. And by "see how it all lands" does she mean how people get by without healthcare..?

With our country in flux, Gwyn's biggest priority now is to create a place of love and understanding. She continued:

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Gwyneth Paltrow Reveals Her First Ever All Natural Perfume — And Her Daughter Apple Isn't Here For It!

Filed under: Gwyneth PaltrowFragranz!

Gwyneth Paltrow sells her first fragrance.

Gwyneth Paltrow is going into the fragrance business, and her first perfume is all natural!

We're not surprised.

Related: Gwynnie Shows Off Her Legs

The actress spoke to The Cut about why she worked to make a "non-toxic" scent, explaining that she wanted it to live up to Goop's natural aesthetic.

She said:

"From a straight business perspective, fragrance is a very tangible way for somebody to buy a piece of a brand at a good price point. Whenever we've done candle collaborations on Goop, they've sold very, very well.

But for me, it's also very personal. Fragrance is a really important part of my life. This is a way that we can create something that was non-toxic and stay within the ethos of Goop, offering the modern woman a better, cleaner version of a typical scent. But it's complex, romantic, sexy, cozy, and all of these things. It's not just rubbing lavender oil on yourself from the health-food store."

The fragrance itself, called edition 01, is a "sexy church scent," whatever that means, and contains notes of burning wood and incense. It notably doesn't contain any artificial ingredients.

Gwynnie's teenage daughter Apple doesn't seem that into the whole "natural" thing, however:

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Gwyneth Paltrow Is Already Getting Made Fun Of On Gilmore Girls… And It Doesn't Even Come Out For Months!

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***WARNING: Light Gilmore Girls Spoilers Ahead***

Talk about a burn!

As we get closer and closer to Netflix's Gilmore Girls revival series, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, we're getting EXTREMELY excited for any new nuggets of info that might give clues to what's going on in Stars Hollow!

Related: Amy Schumer Responds To Gilmore Girls Name-Drop

Sure, we already got a trailer for the upcoming series — and we were teased about a possible pregnancy — but the newest little tidbit might just be our favorite yet as Entertainment Weekly received a copy of the first page of the script! Not only that, but one of the first jokes is poking fun at Gwyneth Paltrow and her lifestyle publication Goop! LOLz!!

Lauren Graham recently chatted with EW about her concerns with reviving the cult drama, saying:

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