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Scream Queens Serves Up Its Grossest Episode Yet With Cannibal Diseases, Murderous Hands, & An Improbably Ugly Colton Haynes! Get The Full Recap!

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Murder! Mystery! Homoerotic John Stamos shower scenes!

Tuesday's episode of Scream Queens had a little something for everyone, especially if you're really into grotesque diseases and erotic asphyxiation.

[SPOILERS, IDIOT HOOKERS]

After witnessing a hairy patient get decapitated at the end of last week's season premiere, Chanel No. 5 (Abigail Breslin) became a suspect right off the bat, despite the fact that there was green smile tracked in by the actual murderer, the Green Meanie.

Related: Ryan Murphy Talks Working With The 'Relentlessly Homophobic' WB!

No. 5's luck turned around when she started getting romantic with a patient played by the impossibly handsome Colton Haynes — except his character Tyler was in the hospital because he was completely covered in NASTY looking boils…

Bent on making Tyler hot again, No. 5 started fundraising for an expensive laser to remove the warts, but it was Chanel Oberlin (Emma Roberts) who got the money from her ex-boyfriend Chad Radwell (Glen Powell), who had returned to

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Britney Spears Once Tried (& Failed) To Set Up Taylor Lautner With Her Little Sis Jamie Lynn!

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Can't blame her for trying!

Britney Spears once tried to hook up Taylor Lautner with her baby sister Jamie Lynn Spears… like any respectable older sib would!

Pressed by none other than John Stamos while chatting with Billboard on Saturday at the iHeartRadio Music Festival, the 24-year-old revealed the Make Me singer tried to nudge a romance between the actor and the country singer way back when.

Related: Lea Michele Reveals Which Of Taylor Swift's Exes She Would Bang!

Stamos revealed:

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Netflix Reveals The Fuller House Season 2 Premiere Date… On Uncle Joey's Birthday!

Filed under: TV NewsJohn StamosBob SagetNostalgiaNetflixFuller House

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Cut. It. Out!

On Wednesday, Fuller House finally revealed when we'll be able to see the second season of the wildly popular Full House spinoff.

The Netflix show shared a precious poster on Instagram (above), announcing that it will be returning for round two on… December 9!

Related: Is Stranger Things Really Netflix's Biggest Hit Yet?!

But what can we expect from the upcoming installment?!

Well, according to John Stamos and Scott Weinger's own IGs, we'll be gifted some holiday cheer from our favorite TV family this time around, saying:

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Scream Queens Scares Up Some Hollywood Royalty — John Stamos, Kirstie Alley, & Jerry O'Connell — For The Season 2 Premiere! Meet The Cast!

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***WARNING: Scream Queens Spoilers Ahead***

Welcome back, idiot hookers.

The inaugural season of Scream Queens wasn't quite the horror/camp-fest we were hoping it'd be… but it looks like Ryan Murphy is doing everything in his power to course correct for Season Two.

Luckily, that meant an hour of wall-to-wall entertainment on Tuesday night when FOX reopened the C.U.R.E Institute — much to the disdain of the Chanels!

Recap: American Horror Story: 6's Premiere Is A Total Nightmare!

While a majority of the episode was dedicated to reintroducing us to Keke Palmer, Jamie Lee Curtis, Emma Roberts, Abigail Breslin, and Billie Lourd's already iconic characters in their new, sterile environment… the welcomed additions to the cast certainly made the most of their debut.

But we're not just talking random up-and-comers — no, American Horror Story: Kids somehow managed to attract Hollywood royalty like John Stamos, Kirstie Alley, Jerry O'Connell, Taylor Lautner, Laura Bell Bundy, and Cecily Strong for the premiere… it's just too bad not everyone could survive the night!

We guess the Green Meanie is just as bloodthirsty as the Red Devil!!

Video: Lea Michele Goes Full Hannibal Lecter In Scream Queens Teaser

Plus, we even got some specialized commercials thanks to Lady GaGa unveiling her Perfect Illusion music video even if we had mixed feelings about it.

So, without further ado…

M-m-meet Scream Queens' newest residents for Season Two (below)!!!

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The Cast Of Scream Queens Season 2 Is The Hottest Hospital Staff EVER! Check Out The Killer Character Portraits!

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The Chanels will see you now.

The second season of Scream Queens is right around the corner, with the setting taking a sharp left turn from the Kappa House to the eerie halls of a hospital. (Don't all sorority girls who get sent to a mental ward end up pursuing a career in medicine?)

But based on new cast portraits Fox released on Thursday, the Chanels are still clinging on to that last bit of glamour — as Emma Roberts (Chanel Oberlin), Billie Lourd (Chanel #3), and Abigail Breslin (Chanel #5) flawlessly pull off a chic candy striper look!

Video: Lea Is Hannibal Hester In Scream Queens Teaser!

Doctors John Stamos, Taylor Lautner, and Keke Palmer make up the rest of the hospital staff, and are about to put us in a medically induced coma with all that hotness.

Of course, Jamie Lee Curtis is still giving major angel of death vibes returning as Dean (now Hospital Administrator?) Munch — but the real returning evil is Lea Michele, who is very appropriately now a patient at the hospital with that killer twinkle in her eye.

Ch-ch-check out the sophisticated yet suspicious character portraits (above) and catch the return of Scream Queens September 20 on Fox!

[Image via Tommy Garcia/FOX.]

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Lea Michele Is Hannibal Hester In Scream Queens Season Two Teaser! Watch!

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Oh hell no is right!

Ryan Murphy is pulling out all the horror movie references for the return of Scream Queens.

Not only is the creepy hospital setting of Season 2 a nod to Halloween 2, but the latest villainous promo pays homage to Silence of the Lambs — swapping out Anthony Hopkins with a deranged looking Lea Michele!

Related: Abigail Slams Gold's Gym Over Body Shaming Ads!

Most of the main cast is seen in the newest trailer, which shows medical proffesionals John Stamos, Taylor Lautner, and Keke Palmer pushing around the Chanels on stretchers.

Aside from some quick shots that may hint at plot points (Dr. Lautner hooks up with Abigail Breslin!?) the biggest reveal comes at the end, when Emma Roberts lays eyes on none other than "Hannibal Hester".

Ch-ch-check out the teaser (below) and catch the return of Scream Queens September 20 on FOX!

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Fuller House Cast Has 'Given Up' On Ever Getting Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen To Play Michelle…

Filed under: TV NewsOlsen TwinsNostalgiaNetflixFuller House

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There's a reason it isn't called Fullest House

Following the surprise success of Fuller House way back in February, Netflix was quick to pick up the family-friendly sitcom for a second season.

While most of the original cast reprised their iconic roles for the Full House follow-up, Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen flat-out refused to even do so much as a cameo for Season One… and, unfortunately, Season Two doesn't sound much different.

Related: Will Smith Shoots Down A Potential Fresh Prince Reboot!

Stephanie herself Jodie Sweetin dashed our dreams of ever seeing more of Michelle while speaking to Entertainment Tonight at the premiere of Kubo and the Two Strings on Sunday night.

While the Dancing with the Stars alum confirmed that we will be getting even more guest stars the second time around, MK&A will not be a part of the series in any way, sadly saying:

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