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Adopt A Cockroach Or Scorpion In Honor Of Your Ex This Valentine's Day, Courtesy Of The San Francisco Zoo!! Hilarious!!

Filed under: Love LineZooAdoptionInsectsDisgusting!FunnyBugsScorpion

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The San Francisco Zoo came up with an ingenious way to drum up business, help animals and provide scorned lovers with some revenge without all the bad karma.

This Valentine's Day, you can now adopt a hissing cockroach or a giant, hairy scorpion in "honor" of an awful ex!

Sure, we'd all love to send a spring-loaded box of steaming tiger poo to our evil ex-lovers, but who can afford that much flaming poop?? LOLz!

[ Related: North West Is All Smiles At The Zoo!! ]

Now, you can get revenge without being an evil poop mailer! The zoo is now allowing people to "adopt" their less cute animals.

Normally, a person could "adopt" a lion or panda or something and they'd donate money for the care of that animal. But now they've got gross options for gross people, describing the scorpion as:

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Did Argentina's President Adopt A Jewish Baby To Stop It From Becoming A Werewolf??

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TruePolitikAdoptionCrazzzzy

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The answer is no, absolutely not.

Well… sort of.

[ Related: High School Investor: My Story — And Millions — Are A Complete Lie! ]

Argentina's President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner just took on Iair Tawil as a godson. True.

Thing is, Iair is a 21-year-old son of a rabbi, and now, Argentina's first Jewish presidential godson, even though he's not a baby and is at no risk of becoming a lycanthrope.

Apparently several news agencies, which we won't be making fun of for reporting something so ridiculous, claimed that

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Homeless Kitten Born With No Eyelids Is Given The Gift Of Sight! It's A Christmas Meow-acle!

Filed under: CatViral: Animals

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What an amazing holiday gift!

Phil was a homeless kitten who was born without eyelids, but his vision has now been saved!

The condition, known as Agenesis, leaves cats with an inability to blink which causes their eyes to dry out — and the kittens become blind for life.

[ Related: 12 Days Of Perezmas: 7 Silly Animal Stories! ]

Luckily, Dr. Martin Coster of Angell Animal Medical Center was able to perform a $1,600 surgery on the little guy for free! He said out of the medical center's over 60,000 visits a year, only one or two kittens come in with this condition.

To perform the surgery, Dr. Coster simply used skin from the kitten's lip to make eyelids.

Now Phil is recovering with a 99 percent chance that he'll have vision for the rest of his life! Yay!

He's up for adoption at MSPCA with his "best feline friend" Vixen.

It really is a Christmas miracle!

[Image via MSPCA-ANGELL.]

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Rosario Dawson Reported To Have Just Adopted A 12-Year-Old Girl!

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We don't hear stories like this one too often, but when we do, we can't help but feel good!

Rosario Dawson is rumored to have just adopted a daughter back in October!

And while that in itself is amazing, the even more spectacular thing is that her alleged adopted daughter is 12 years old.

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Couple Adopts EIGHT BROTHERS To Keep Them From Getting Separated!

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Wow! Talk about modern family!

When Melissa Groves and her hubby Scott couldn't get pregnant, they decided to go the difficult but rewarding route of adoption.

[ Related: Britain's Got Talent Alum Susan Boyle Has 'A Lot Of Love To Give' & Wants To Adopt! ]

But little did they know how BIG their reward was going to be!

A young son was found for the Groves family pretty quickly, but there was a catch. Melissa writes:

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Britain's Got Talent Alum Susan Boyle Has 'A Lot Of Love To Give' & Wants To Adopt!

Filed under: Baby BlabberSusan Boyle

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Even though Susan Boyle is 53, she still dreams of having kids!

And you know what? She's definitely not too old — especially when you hear why and how she's going to go about it!

The celebrated singer revealed in a recent interview:

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Talk About A Role Reversal — This Black Lab Is Actually Allergic To People!!

Filed under: HealthMedicinePetsAdoptionPuppyDogLabrador RetrieverAwwwwwViral: Animals

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This pup brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, 'pet allergy.'

Robin Herman runs a pet rescue shelter in Indianapolis, Indiana, and was perplexed as to why one of her new intakes was exhibiting signs of irritation on his skin.

Well, as it turns out, Adam, the black lab puppy, was born with an unusual trait; he's allergic to human dander!

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