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Sandra Bullock & Melissa McCarthy Set Our Balls Ablaze In The Heat's Hardcore New Poster!

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We hope that's an oven mitt in your pocket, because the new artwork for The Heat is HOT!

Look, we love Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy! That dynamic duo could star in a black & white documentary about South American tree frogs and we'd still buy ourself a ticket for opening night!!

Still, the poster for their upcoming action-comedy was more than a little disconcerting — in it, Melissa's lovely face was horribly distorted!!

Thankfully, the fine folks at Twentieth Century Fox just unleashed a totally new poster with triple-awesome artwork (above)!

We're given a glimpse of the HIGHlariously heated action the flick promises and this time the Bridesmaids beauty isn't terribly photoshopped!

The Heat opens June 28 in the USA — we cannot wait!

[Image via Twentieth Century Fox & Entertainment Weekly.]

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The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug Imagines Dragons In Radioactive New Poster! See It HERE!

Filed under: Film Flickers

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That's not a mithril sword in our pantaloons, we're just happy to see sweet new artwork for The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug!!!

Part two of the Lord of the Rings prequel is only months away, ch-ch-check out the poster (above) to see why we're so excited!

The first Hobbit was awesome enough, but Desolation includes several sweet new characters DRAGONS!!

Star Trek Into Darkness's Benedict Cumberbatch plays Smaug, the gold-hoarding dragon, and Evangeline Lilly, the freckle-face femme fatale from Lost, is Tauriel!

YES!! Just thinking about this flick gives us a nerd boner the size of an Ent and six times as hard! Bilbo battles the dragon until December 13th, but MGM is unleashing a teaser for The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug tomorrow!!

Ugh!!! We can barely wait!!

[Image via MGM.]

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Adorbz Otters Paint Pictures At Florida Zoo

Filed under: ZooAmazingOtter

Lucy and Grimace are two budding young artists at the Gulf Breeze Zoo in Pensacola, Florida.

Oh and they're also both otters… did we mention that? LOLz!

Zookeepers say they've literally sold over 50 pieces of otter artwork and used the money to buy toys and treats!

So they get to taste the fruits of their labor! If you can even call it labor. They look like they're having a blast!

And don't worry, the paint is totally non-toxic so it's completely safe for the otters.

Otters have incredibly short attention spans so they only paint once a week, making these paintings even more rare and ahmayzing!

Check out the video (above) to see the otter artists in action!!

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Art School Student's Refrigerated Stash Of Semen Seized By School Officials! EW!

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueFunny

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If you're thinking about handing out your sperm to passersby, think again kids!

Innovative New York's School of Visual Arts MFA student, Marc Bradly Johnson, shot out inspiration from within for his thesis project—titled Take This Sperm and Be Free of Me— by filling up 68 vials of his own semen and refrigerating it for the school gallery, advertising it on Craigslist, and also giving it away to the public.

Sounds GROSSLY creative, right??? Well, school officials didn't seem to agree! The artwork was in fact seized after being determined a health and safety risk!

In complete and utter disbelief following the confiscation, Marc said:

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Brooke Mueller's Kids Chilled With Nanny While She Was NOT ODing on Drugs!

Filed under: DrugsCharlie SheenHealth

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Charlie Sheen's ex-misses Brooke Mueller, who has a history of drug problems, maintains she did NOT pass out due a drug overdose before being taken to the hospital this past Friday, AND that her 3-year-old twins were being well taken care of by their live-in nanny during the whole event.

Friday evening just HOURS after her hospital stay, Brooke was spotted out in LA with a black substance all over her hands…

But don't worry, it's not ash from some sort of drug smoking device, its simply spray paint residue leftover from Brooke's artwork.

Cause Brooke has apparently been on a jewelry making, artistic kick recently… OBVI.

Well, we're glad Brookie's kids are alright and we're happy that Brooke has found a healthy, artistic outlet

Just don't go huffin' on that spray paint, dear!

[Image via WENN.]

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Ex-NFL Star Recovering From Major Surgery

Filed under: HealthFootballSurgery

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Todd Marinovich, an ex-NFL quarterback, just had major surgery on his throwing hand.

That hand also just happens to be his painting hand now that he's retired!

Drug addiction ruined his football career and he almost lost everything, but he got clean and became a pretty successful artist!

Though things almost crashed down when he woke up with no feeling in his left hand one morning.

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Stephen Amell Has Us Green With Envious Bonerz In New Arrow Art!

Filed under: TV NewsYummy Yummy Screw

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Who cares if he's super heroic as long as he's super-hottt — are we right, ladies?!

Stephen Amell penetrated the hearts, minds, and vaginal cavities of 4 million people when his Godlike pectoral ripples took over the small screen last week.

Judging by the new artwork the network released (above), it isn't hard to imagine how so many people stayed tuned!

Arrow, CW's new show Smallville retread, is one of our favorites new series but we'd honestly be content watching Stephen's character Oliver Queen mow the lawn for 42 straight minutes — as long as he did it shirtless.

Ahhh, yes! Mizter Queen can be our King any day!

C'mon, Ollie! Unsheathe an arrow from your quiver!!

And let's play one more round of just the tip, LOLz!!

[Image via CW.]

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