He's a Redditor with two arms, two legs, an iPhone, and zero ass cracks. Not one!
After having "multiple surgeries" on the pilonidal cysts congregating on his derriere, doctors elected to stitch shut his butt crack because they thought it would allow him to better heal.
So now his ass crack is sealed up tighter than a bank vault!
Most folks with this condition would likely shy away from the spotlight, but not TBoneTheOriginal. Inspired, perhaps, by the dude with two dongs who recently did his own Reddit AMA, the crack-less man decided to become an internet hero of his own and answer questions about his unusual malady.