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Eva Longoria Confirms Sanchez Sexy Times! Calls Mario Lopez An Asshole!

Filed under: Eva LongoriaLove LineMario Lopez

eva longoria mark sanchez dating confirmed

Sexy indeed!!

Eva Longoria dating Mark Sanchez might as well be a Disney movie. Cuz that couple is magically good-looking!!!

Though the two have been a rumored item for months now, Mario Lopez got the goods when he just straight-up asked her about it on Extra!

Seemingly somewhat shocked but joking, she replied:

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Cats Can Be D*cks Sometimes…LOLz!

Filed under: Silly!PetsCuteness!Cat

"Say I won't do it! Say I won't do it!"

This black cat, Teddy, is simply DARING his owner to mess with him!

That or Teddy just really wants to be a dick…

He eyes a jar of Nutella and decides he's had enough of this delicious paste craze.

And after he knocks it over, he YAWNS like nothing happened!

Your move, Sabrina! Ha!

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Jerk Penguin!

Filed under: FunnyPenguin

Wow!

What a jerk!

That's a dick thing to do, Mr. Penguin! Your buddy could've been hurt.

Though… it is kinda funny.

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God Told Michael Lohan That Lindsanity Is Recovered!

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Will this douchebag ever getting tired of jerking himself off hearing the sound of his own voice??

Lindsay Lohan's stalker father, Michael, is apparently so pleased with his daughter's thirteen second appearance at the Video Music Awards that he's convinced that she is 100% healthy again!

He says:

"For a LONG time now I have been worrying and praying that the my 'blessed and gifted' daughter would find her way back. At times, I was too vocal, I made the wrong decisions and certainly handled things the wrong way. I constantly asked God that if it was His will to take me before her, which I stand by to this day. While some have made their pacts with the devil, I made mine with God, to take me first, or simply help Lindsay find her way back, and if so, He can do whatever He wants with me. Tonight, my prayers were met. On the MTV Music Awards, I saw, heard and know that Lindsay is back and I believe she will be better than ever."

Who does he think he is?

You didn't make a pact with God OR the Devil, moron! You made a pact with various media outlets to famewhore and exploit your child! It's a miracle she's even alive, after how badly you fucked her life up!

If you're proud of her, send her an effing fruit basket with a note!

[Image via WENN.]

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Mugshot Hall Of Fame.

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Laugh away at this shithead. He deserves it.

The man above is 21 year old Matthew Clemmens of Cherry Hill, NJ.

If you recall, we reported on a few months ago because the sick asshole purposely stuck his finger down his throat so he would vomit on an off-duty police officer and his 11 year old daughter at a Philadelphia Phillies game last April!

He now has plead guilty to assault, harassment, and disorderly conduct, and has been sentenced to 1-3 months in prison, two years on probation, and 50 hours of community service.

Absolutely deplorable! He deserves everything he got!

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Dentist To Give Statement Regarding Domestic Abuse, Provide Evidence Gibson Beat Babymomma!

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That dentist is going to fuck you, douchebag!

MELtdown Gibson can apparently stop trying to think of excuses, because the domestic abuse investigation against him is going to blow up when Oksana Grigorieva's DENTIST, Dr. Ross Shelden, gives his statement!

Sources claim that the day after Mel allegedly knocked out Oksana's teeth on January 6th, 2010, she went to the the dentist to get them repaired. Dr. Shelden took photos of her mouth, which clearly show that despite what Mel's camp have claimed, he did not knock out veneers, but an actual tooth! Another one was reportedly chipped.

Oksana swore the doctor to secrecy, which is why he has yet to come forward with the information, but now that this entire mess has blown up, he is set to be interviewed and hand over all of his evidence to the authorities!

Well it's about time!

We wonder how this hateful psycho is going to try and talk his way out of this one!

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

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