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This Guy Has Sex With Balloons … But He Won't SUCK The Helium!

There aren't words in this or any language to adequately describe what you are about to witness!

If 50 Shades blew your mind, you will certainly enjoy Dave Collins.

He is a relatively unremarkable man from Arkansas who probably admires Tim Tebow and rarely cheats on his taxes.

Also, he loves balloons.

No. Really. He loves them!

Ch-ch-check out Dave's UNBELIEVABLE testimonial (above) about his non-sexual adoration of those colorful latex things we love to blow up at parties!

We know what you're thinking… but you'd be wrong — he's a man of purity!!

Dave doesn't pop the balloons, that would be tantamount to murder!

You have been warned.

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Wesley Snipes Tries To Re-Finance His House While He's Still Behind Bars!

wesley-snipes-tries-to-refinance-home-while-in-jail

Well. At least he's being production while he's behind bars!

Wesley Snipes, who is currently serving time for tax evasion, is reportedly attempting to re-finance his Alpine, NJ mansion for $1.6 million through his lawyers, who have apparently made an agreement with a mortgage company, although as a stipulation, the actor will be expected to make balloon interest payments in full when he gets out in 2013!

A source explains:

"All of Wesley's bank accounts are wiped out. His four kids have nothing to live on."

And his rep confirms:

"As you can imagine, it is true that his family is having financial challenges, mainly due to his current situation."

Geesh! What a mess!

We're happy to hear that he's taking action and attempting to help his family, but it's just too bad that he didn't take the time to consider this scenario and what it would do to his loved ones BEFORE he got himself in this much shiz!

Fingers crossed that you'll be able to work all this out, boy!

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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