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Obama's Pardoned Turkey Will Just Die Anyway!

Filed under: Barack ObamaSad SadFoodBirds

President Obama's pardoned turkeys don't actually live much longer to enjoy their freedom.

Well this just burst a magical Thanksgiving fantasy we had.

One of the best parts of Thanksgiving is when the President pardons two turkeys from having to be eaten.

Sure, when President Obama waves his magic hand, the turkeys are no longer on death row. Heck, they even move to George Washington's historic home of Mount Vernon.

But after that? They don't make it very long.

The problem is

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National Thanksgiving Turkey Pardon: U Choose Who Lives!! (And Who DIES??)

Filed under: BeyonceBarack ObamaHolidazeFoodBirds

You decide what turkey gets pardoned by the President... but what happens to the other one??

Here we go with another one of America's craziest traditions!

That's right, it's the real life America's Hunger Games!!

The White House wants U to choose which turkey will be pardoned on Thanksgiving day, which is terrifying because does this mean that Obama goes out in the back yard and kills the losing turkey?? Talk about another downfall of Obamacare!

JK!

Two turkeys, Caramel and Popcorn, are both fighting for their lives and a Presidential pardon!

Not only does each bird have a baseball card style list of stats, which you can see (below), you can even

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Tiny Cock Plays The Guitar

Filed under: Music MinuteCuteness!Chickens

Don't let the title fool you, this is just a small chicken.

But he's so super cute!!

He's learning to play the guitar!

His owner is just plucking strings and getting the bird to pluck along!

This cock is actually pretty talented because he plucks the same string sometimes. He's on his way to being a rockstar.

Also, he's super adorable for a chicken and we think that's just a lovely change of pace.

Check out the video (above) to see a cock strumming on a guitar!

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Wanna Know What Happened At The National Zoo During The Government Shutdown??

Filed under: ZooLionsBirdsPandaGorilla

A lot has happened at the National Zoo since the government shutdown!!

Remember when the worst thing that happened during the government shutdown was we lost our precious panda cam??

That was totes the worst!

During the government shutdown the Smithsonian's National Zoo had to close its gates! And it lead to the saddest photo we've ever seen!

Well the zoo is now back open! Huzzah!

While it was closed, some inneresting shiz went down: there was a departure, two deaths and some SEX!

A female

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Rihanna's Cray Tweets Lead To The Arrest Of Thailand Sex Show Owner!

Filed under: RihannaMusic MinuteLegal MattersTwitterSex

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Rihanna…cleaning up Thailand, one crazy tweet at a time!

We reported earlier how RiRi drunkenly went to a sex show in Thailand that involved a bird, two turtles (and a partridge in a pear tree) emerging out of some lady parts, and let all of Twitter know how "traumatized" she was!

Well, the owner of a bar in Phuket (you can't make this stuff up) has been arrested on charges of obscenity and operating an entertainment venue without a permit, and it's all thanks to Rihanna's grosstastic tweets!

This isn't the first time Rihanna's social media brought animal exploiters to justice in Phuket, Thailand!

At least, the slow loris featured in an Instagram photo with Rihanna wasn't thrust inside some lady's vajayjay! We know the primate is protected, but it would need another type of protection for that act!

Now, if you'll excuse us, we'll be trying to block out all these weird images, you know, before the next time we take a trip to the zoo!

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African Lake Literally Turns Animals Into Stone!!

Filed under: Science!Scary!AmazingCrazzzzy

African lake literally turns animals into stone!

There is a magical lake in Northern Tanzania, Africa.

It's called Lake Natron and it can literally turn any animal that touches it to stone!!

Seriously, this sounds like a fairytale but it's not!

The lake gets its name from natron, a natural compound that's mainly made of sodium carbonate and some baking soda.

When animals swim through it, they eventually become calcified, effectively turning to stone!

Photographer Nick Brandt captured images of these petrified creatures for his new book, Across the Ravaged Land.

Brandt found several bird carcasses dead along the shoreline of the lake, so he posed them and snapped some pics, saying:

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Super Kute Kiwi Born At New Zealand Wildlife Center

Filed under: Cuteness!ZooBirds

Super cute kiwi born in New Zealand!!

Kiwis the fruit are delicious, but we think Kiwi the bird is even better!!

A little cutie baby Kiwi was born at the Pukaha Mount Bruce National Wildlife Center in New Zealand.

The baby chick is now 11 days old, but only 6 in the pictures!

Awwww! The little baybeeeee!

Once the little guy strengthens up and gains some weight (hopefully reaching 2.6 pounds) he'll be released into the Pukaha Mount Bruce reserve.

With some real weight on him, he'll have the best chance of surviving in the wild, able to defend against rats, stoats and ferrets.

He's just the first of many too. The Wildlife Center plans on hatching up to 20 more chicks!!

That's amazing! Let's hope they absolutely cover New Zealand in Kiwis! (The birds, not the nickname for New Zealanders! LOLz!)

[Image via Beau Elton/Pukaha Mount Bruce Wildlife Centre.]

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