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Spencer Pratt Is Ready To Water Board Cyber Terrorists In The Name Of America!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooTV NewsPolitikSpencer Pratt

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Ugh.

Spencer Pratt is apparently ready to contribute something 'significant' to society, which in his mind means becoming the real life Jack Bauer and keeping our country safe - by pitching a reality show to the National Security Agency and Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency called Cyber Spies!

Yeah, we know.

He says:

"They kicked me off 'The Hills' because they say I'm too angry, but really I was just angry that I was doing nothing on 'The Hills' and doing nothing to contribute to our free and open society of America. My friends had medical marijuana issues, so I was always worried about secondhand smoke, so I thought, 'Oh my gosh, I'm never going to be the director of the CIA,' but now I hear they recently changed that policy, and I think that they may have done that just so people like me who had friends in high places could still fit into the politics of the intelligence community. I was the biggest fan of '24' but there was such fakeness; I don't believe any American agent would chop off anybody's head. Waterboarding would do the trick."

We honestly don't even know where to begin.

Spencer, how about you lay off all of that 'secondhand' smoke?

Or better yet, go hot box yourself in it until you're too blaaazed to speak! Then you can be Jack Bauer in your mind all day long!

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Former Idol Host Responds To Seacrest's Drunk Digs!

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During Ryan Seacrest's inebriated escapades on American Idol this week, he made a pretty flat joke directed at former co-host Brian Dunkleman's current irrelevance!

Dunkleman, of course, responded by pretending to take the high road, but he still managed to take some equally flat digs at Secreast!

He says:

People really came to my defense, which is a satisfying thing. But it was a joke. Well, it was an attempt at a joke. But unfortunately for Ryan, instead of a laugh, he got applause. That’s never really been his strong suit. But it was a joke, and whether it was mean-spirited or not is irrelevant. A joke’s a joke; you can either take it or you can’t. And quite honestly, once you’ve had Jimmy Kimmel say in a monologue that you should be punched in the face, and at this point you’d probably be receptive to a knife in the gut, I think what Seacrest said was pretty tame.

We think that congratulations are in order to both of them!

We can all agree that neither are particularly funny!

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

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Ryan Explains His Bizarre Idol Behavior!

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YEAH RIGHT.

We all can agree that Ryan Seacrest was acting pretty BIZARRELY this week on American Idol - you know, when he danced with a LARGE male audience member during a performance and talked about Adam Lambert's 'talented tongue' - but the emcee claims that he was "just having fun."

We think that "just having fun" means that he got drunk, stoned or BOTH before the show!

Seacrest lies through he teeth explains:

"Often, I will playfully do things to amp up the energy for the live show, because it's at the end of my long day. I was enjoying it. We've done this show for nine years. When they take me out into the audience, sometimes the energy out there takes me to a different place. That guy looked like the most inappropriate person to dance with, so I figured, 'Let's pick him up and just dance with him for a second.' I was also setting up the fact that we're going to do a 10-year anniversary and look back on all of the different things that have been a part of this show… including my see-through shirts, my frosted tips, Simon with the bad hair and his pants jacked up, so the 10th-anniversary season is gonna be fun."

HA. Okay, Ryan.

If you need to incapicitate yourself to endure the shiteous performances from this year's Idol contestants, we'll let it slide.

Everyone else just looks pained during the show!!

What do U think?? Do U buy Ryan's excuses explanation??

[Image via WENN.]

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