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Michael Lohan Denied Bail! Behind Bars Until Trial!

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You're not a true Lohan unless you have a flagrant disregard for the law and a laundry list of excuses!

And let's face it, Lindsay learned from the best!

Her father, Michael, who was arrested earlier in the week for once again attacking and threatening the life of his girlfriend, Kate Major, and then once again two days later when he ignored the court's orders and contacted her, only to try to escape from police by jumping off a third floor balcony and injuring his leg, appeared in court today via jail monitor and wheelchair with quite the list of reasons he should be released!

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Lindsay Lohan's Latest Excuses For Effing Up Her Probation Terms!

Filed under: Lindsay LohanLegal MattersSad Sad

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But of course!

Lindsay Lohan is about just as likely to take accountability for her actions as she is likely to end up in the courtroom!

Now that news has surfaced of the hard-pAArtying former actress' apparent missing court-mandated therapy sessions when she slithered off to Paris last month for whatever reason she had, she's now telling anyone who will listen that she in fact, spoke to her shrink over the phone during that time instead!

Furthermore, she obviously and diligently cleared the two-week trip with her probation officer, under the guise of some mysterious modeling job, and that both them and the therapist gave approval for her to complete the sessions under those terms, and she did, twice, in two 45 minute sessions!

Well, isn't that convenient?

We suppose we'll see soon enough whether or not this is actually what went down, but let's face it, who knows at this point anymore?

[Image via WENN.]

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Kate Says Her Kids Are Acting Out Because They Miss Their Father!

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Oh for goodness sake!

Kate Gosselin is speaking out again about two of her children's recent expulsion from school, and although that's essentially what it is, she not only refuses to admit it, but is also putting its blame on her ex-husband, Jon!

She says:

"The school would never use that word. [Collin and Alexis] were not expelled. [The school] did not feel like they could meet their needs anymore, so it was decided they should leave, for now. They've been the ones to verbalize the most that they miss Daddy. I could see that they're the ones struggling the most. [Collin] was upset and saying things out of frustration – he'd crumple his papers and throw them on the floor. Alexis was angry in a different way. She didn't want to sit still. She'd get up and want to run around. I've kept the stability, the income – everything that they know and love – I've come through on that. I am doing what my kids need me to do. That's really all that matters."

So sad. There are clearly a lot more underlying issues with these children than they miss their father, and we think that the longer Kate refuses to acknowledge that she, too, may play a role in why they're acting out, the worse it's going to be for them.

Stability and income are important, but maybe they wouldn't be so angry if Mom was less focused on her celebrity status and ca$hing in on her kids and more on being with her family!

Just saying!

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

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Mischa Barton Lashes Out At Fearne Cotton!

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Uh-oh!

Mischa Barton is apparently livid over the way she was portrayed during her appearance on Fearne Cotton's show, and is now lashing out at the British TV personality!

She says:

"I think Fearne Cotton's show is a joke and she's a joke. I can't hear Fearne's name without seeing red. I wish I hadn't done it and that's bad because there are enough misconceptions about me in the press. She's got nothing to lose if she makes a more salacious story, she's only got everything to gain. I just find her messed up, to be honest. Fearne never let on that she was irritated about waiting. She acts like everything's so great and she loves you and they cut it together and make it seem like it was a terribly painful experience for them. I don't want to start a feud with her, it's not worth it to me. She likes the fame, it doesn't affect her like it affects the people she's documenting."

Sorry, bb, but that's the risk you take when you sign up to do a show like that!

And we doubt that Fearne could have spinned it THAT much - in fact, we think that you're just mad that she didn't spin it in your FAVOR!

Sour grapes!

[Image via WENN.]

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More Spencer And Heidi Fakeness

Filed under: Love LineSpencer PrattHeidi Montag

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Oh, who cares?

Spencer Pratt issued an "apology" to his soon-to-be (maybe) ex-wife Heidi Montag.

He says:

"Divorce can be a trying, draining, and emotionally devastating experience for all involved. Despite these hardships, most individuals manage to conduct themselves with dignity and maturity. I did not – I failed spectacularly."

"I horribly embarrassed the one person that meant the world to me. For my outrageous and infantile behavior, I offer Heidi my most sincere apologies. Over the years, her love, support, and friendship were always given, but never properly cherished. I let her down.

"She never deserved the pain and anguish I put her through, and although I don't expect it, I hope in time she'll be able to forgive me. Even though our relationship has changed, I will always count her among my best friends."

Blah blah blah.

[Image via WENN.]

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Michelle Rodriguez Is Tired Of Being Butch!

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Ha! She is a piece of work!

Dykonic actress Michelle Rodriguez is apparently unhappy about her constant dykonic portrayal, and wants to appear as more feminine characters in movies!

She reveals:

"You know what was amazing to me? Finally not having a frickin' cop outfit. I'm so tired of these butchy polyester outfits. It seems every time I do something I'm wearing some government outfit - it's so annoying. With the exception of Fast And The Furious, I'm always in uniform. I'm always like, 'Can I just get rid of this butch outfit and be hot for once?' I think it's that some people have that Cleopatra appeal, some people have that warrior appeal, and some people have the mother appeal - whatever your power is as a woman, go for it! Run with it!"

Well, sorry to break it to you, but we don't think that you have any kind of appeal whatsoever!

Besides - you're not so much butch as you are leather daddy, bb!

Too bad, so sad!

LOLs!

[Image via WENN.]

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Deplorable! Mel Gibson Attempts To Justify Abuse Toward Baby Mama!

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Is this SERIOUSLY the best that they could come up with?

Now that the world is completely aware that Mel Gibson is a psychotic, deplorable monster of bigot, his camp is finally going into damage control, and apparently the best excuse that they could come up with is to claim that he has been in therapy since all of the incidents with baby mama Oksana Grigorieva!

PSSH! Bull to the SHIT!

The source claims:

"He realized how unhealthy the relationship was and recognized that they were in a bad place and he was getting his buttons pushed. He wanted to figure out how to extricate himself from this unhealthy relationship peacefully and calmly. Which is what he did."

No, we all HEARD what you did, fucktard. We heard EVERYTHING that you did.

Once again, this is just another pathetic way to try and justify verbally and physically abusing a woman. Absolutely despicable.

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

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