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Jesse James Gets Physical Custody Of Daughter!

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Guess the judge had to pick the lesser of two evils this time around.

The vicious custody battle between douchebag Jesse James and psychopath Janine Lindemulder over their daughter, Sunny, ended this afternoon when the judge ruled that although they would have joint legal custody, Jesse would have the physical custody, and therefore would be allowed to take her with him to Texas to try and manipulate Sandra Bullock back into his life!

Janine, devastated by the ruling, apparently broke down into sobs and screamed that she would move as well!

Oh, great!

Poor Sandra is going to have not only put up with her ex, but now her ex's mentally unstable, pornstar ex?!

So sad for that poor child. Our heart truly breaks for her.

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

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The Simpleton Puts On Her Sunday Best!

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Maybe her new man likes them butch!

JSimpleton was spotted shopping in the men's department of Bloomingdale's yesterday wearing this striking little number, and we are never ceased to be amazed by the effort she constantly puts into her appearance!

Lesbian high school gym teachers want their look back, bb!

And we're not even going to tell you what we think Sue Sylvester would have to say about this mess!

LOLs!

[Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]

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Losers Unite!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooTV NewsMichael Lohan

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We knew when we heard these two were together that there was going to be trouble…

Now that Lindsanity will be behind bars where she belongs, Michael Lohan obviously needs some horrible slam pig one to leech on to so he can continue famewhoring and being an all around douchey scumbag!

Of course, it's no surprise that to do so, he's chosen to collaborate with not only his gutter troll fiance, Kate Major, but Rachel Uchitel and Homewrecking Hailey on a television show!

Kate Major reveals:

“Rachel is going to be helping us out with our TV show that we’re working on for the month of August. Rachel befriended me on Facebook because she is mutual friends with our manager David Weintraub. It’s going to be a live interactive show set at our house in New York. There are four different charity events and all the proceeds will be going to charity.”

So we're going to have to endure a TV series of not only Homewrecking Hailey getting fucked up and passing out in plants, Michael Lohan being Michael Lohan (that's bad enough), but the inevitable cat fight that will go down after Kate realizes that Rachel is having sex with him?!

We think we'll pass.

What do U think?? Do U want to watch all these losers unite to terrorize TV?

[Image via WENN.]

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SIGHting

Filed under: Icky Icky PooSIGHting

Michael Lohan and Rachel Uchitel were spotted celebrating their tandem douchery indepedence together in the Hamptons over the weekend!

We didn't know one place could handle so much famewhoring and instability! Must have been the magic of the holidays!

BARF.

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Ryan And Julianne Are Getting Serious!

Filed under: Love LineRyan Seacrest

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Look at this! The Gaycrest finally got a beard that he might want to keep for a while!

Sources are confirming that Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough are enjoying each other's company quite a bit these days, and it could be getting serious!

The insider says:

"Things have gotten more serious over the last month. They're perfect for each other."

All right, you two. Enough is enough!

If you're going to run around in public all up in each other's shiz, announce it officially!

[Image via WENN.]

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