If you're climaxing during sexual intercourse, you may be ruining your relationship.
There's a new fad in couples therapy in which participants are abstaining from orgasm in order to strengthen their connection. It's called karezza — a term coined in 1896 and derived from the Italian word for caress — which is sex with lots of affection and no orgasm end-goal.
The reason this practice is recommended is because couples are "finding the emotional intimacy far outweighs any of the thrill of the chase and the mating mind."
Counselor Deb Feintech says she recommends karezza to couples young and old, explaining:
"I offer this to them as something to try for a month or so. They wake up every single morning and they are not even thinking about genital stimulation. They are snuggling, holding and breathing with eye contact and flow. It's very conscious — from the genitals to the heart."
Even though some swear by it, there are PLENTY of skeptics. 56-year-old Darryl Keil has been practicing karezza with his wife for 8 years and calls the way they used to have sex a "lick, pump, squirt, snore." He has a hard time convincing others of that though and shared:
"It's just hard to get men to want to skip orgasms. One guy said to me, 'you want me to climb 10,000 feet up Mt. Everest and not get to the top?'"
We can understand the hesitation, but Keil swears, "The pleasure goes up another level … You follow the sensation in your body, not the stimulation."
Marnia L. Robinson, author of Cupid's Poisoned Arrow, argues that the power of karezza lies in neuroscience. Couples are all about each other until the honeymoon neurochemistry fades away, but bonding behaviors (touching, kissing, hugging, listening) outside of orgasm-driven sex are what really glue a relationship together.
Watch Robinson explain the truth about orgasms (above) and find out what really makes a relationship last!