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Broncos Fans Jerk Away The Pain! Internet Porn Spikes In Denver After Super Bowl Loss!

Filed under: FootballSexSuper BowlFunny

How did Broncos fans cope after getting crushed in the Super Bowl?? Sadsturbating.

What do you do when your football team loses a big game?

Like Super Bowl big… and like reallllllly really loses. Like a 43-8 loss…

Gentlemen… start your boners!

That's right, it appears that Denver Broncos fans have turned to punishing their genitals with an onslaught of internet porn to cope with such an astounding loss.

During the big game? Porn viewing dropped an wholllllle lot! It dropped 32% to be exact!

After the big game though, PornHub.com noticed that in Seattle, whose Seahawks flew to victory, average viewership dropped after their big win. They must've been out, partying it up.

While in Denver? The number of porn viewers increased by about 10%!!

Wow! We guess everyone in Denver was sadsturbating.

Tears do make an excellent lubricant, we hear. LOLz!

Check out the statsurbates (below)!

[Image via AP Images.]

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Super Bowl Buzzin'! The Perfect Cocktails For Game Day!

Filed under: TY KUAlcoholSuper Bowl

ty ku super bowl cocktails

Are you worried about all the awful things you're about to eat during the big game — a.k.a. the Super Bowl — this Sunday??

We bet you are!

We also be you plan on supplementing all those wings and chips and dip (and Cheerios?) with some kind of delicious alcoholic drink! So why not make something delicious AND have one last thing to worry about??

Check out the two yummy recipes for Ty Ku game day cocktails (above)!

Here's a little secret though… you don't have to choose just one! Less calories, more fun!

Just drink responsibly!

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Jimmy Fallon Predicts NFL Game Winners With PUPPIES!!

Filed under: Jimmy FallonFootballNFLPuppyAwwwww

Remember Paul The Octopus that successfully predicted almost the entire World Cup?

Well, Jimmy Fallon is using a similar format except instead of an octopus - he's using a way more cuddly type of animal.

And he's using more than one!

On the recent Late Night With Jimmy Fallon - the talk show host brought out a whole mess of PUPPIES to predict Thursday's NFL game between the Denver Broncos and the Baltimore Ravens!

Find out which team these adorable pups picked to win the big game!

Watch the video (above) !!!

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Two Denver Bronco Execs Busted For DUIs — Maybe It's NOT Just The Players!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooZportzLegal MattersAlcoholFootball

denver broncos execs dui arrest busted alcohol

We're always going on and on about how ridiculous it is that pro-athletes get into so much trouble, even though their lives are pretty great compared to a lot of hard working individuals in the world. Athletes work hard too, but at the end of it, they DO play a game for a living! LOLz!

So when we see sports stars getting DUIs and being arrested for murder, we can't help but wonder what in the hell is going on!

As it turns out, they aren't the only ones getting in trouble: the execs are too! And if you can't lead by example, you probably shouldn't be leading at all, or be shocked when your players make stupid life mistakes!

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Peyton Manning Rocks His Broncos Debut!

Filed under: Etc.Football

Peyton Manning Back Broncos Win Awesome

Now THIS is how you shut up the nay-sayers!

A lot of people thought Denver was crazy for giving Peyton Manning a 5 year deal — worth $96 million — because nobody knew if he would ever be his former self when he returned (his last game was in 2010).

Then he played last night, and people shut their pie-holes super fast!

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Tim Tebow Traded To The Jets!

Filed under: ZportzBusiness BlitzFootballTim Tebow

Tebow Traded

Sorry, Broncos! Looks like you'll be without the wonder-boy!

That's right, Tim Tebow the gentle-bring-home-to-mama quarterback has been TRADED to the New York Jets!

He was traded for a fourth round draft pick, and also a sixth and seventh one!

This trade also gives New York coach Rex Ryan another quarterback option behind Mark Sanchez, Drew Stanton and Greg McElroy. We wonder which they'll use? Tebow's buzz and popularity could be good for the team and their image, but Sanchez JUST signed a three-year, $40.5 million contract extension earlier this month.

Do U guys think this will be a good fit??

He does have an unorthodox style that might not mesh well with their current offenses, but hey, why not give him a shot??

[Image via WENN.]

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St. Elmo's Fire Song Reboot Thanks To Tim Tebow

Filed under: FootballTim Tebow

Thanks, Tim Tebow.

Like we needed this at all, John Parr has re-recorded his hit song St. Elmo's Fire to be about Tim Tebow.

"I can see a new horizon underneath the blazin' sky. I'll be where the eagle's flyin' higher and higher. Gonna be a man in motion, all I needs my Broncos team. Take me where my future's lyin,' Tim Tebows Fire."

Uhhhh. Okay. What else is there left to say??

This is just ridiculous!!

Check it out above!

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