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New Jersey Bus Driver Punishes His Python On The Job! Watch His Masturbatory Meltdown HERE!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooLegal MattersSex

new jersey bus driver masturbation video gross nsfw fired transit

Let's face it, masturbation is a part of life.

Birds do it, bees do it, even educated bees whales do it!

Masturbating while driving, however, is NOT a part of life at all. It's dangerous, creepy, and illegal!

And masturbating while driving a public transit bus full of commuters? That's just cray!!!!

Unfortunately, better judgement didn't stop 41-year-old George Simpson from doing the five-knuckle shuffle while transporting a bus full of unsuspecting passengers late last month!!!

And he was caught on tape!

One Manhattan librarian didn't appreciate watching him skin his own salami on her evening cummute commute so she recorded the whole encounter!

See the graphically disturbing and definitely NSFW transit nightmare unfold…AFTER THE JUMP!!!

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Harry Styles' New Job As A Bus Driver?! Fill In The Blank!

harry styles bus fill in the blank

We doubt this one is Directionally challenged! HA!

Harry Styles looked like he knew exactly where he was going as he helmed his tour bus on Tuesday. Though, thanks to the lovely Instagram photo (above), it seems to us this One Direction member was recreating a scene from Harry Potter:

“All aboard this magic Knight Bus to __________.”

[Image via Instagram.]

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iCarly’s Miranda Cosgrove Suing Her Bus Driver For Leaving Her “Disfigured And Disabled”!

miranda cosgrove

Disfigured and disabled?? Really???

Well, here's the back story. Wayyy back in 2011, Miranda Cosgrove’s tour bus got into an accident. She did suffer a broken ankle, but her foot has obviously healed quite nicely since the incident.

Now, in 2013, she and her mother are filing lawsuits against everyone involved, which includes: the bus driver, the truck driver, and the transportation companies.

According to the lawsuit, both Miranda and her mom were left "disfigured and disabled" due to the accident, and "have lost their normal lives" as a result.

This takes us by surprise, because

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Alabama Hostage Crisis OVER! Child Rescued, Kidnapper Dead!

Filed under: Legal MattersSad Sad

alabama-hostage-crisis-ends-5-year-old-ethan-safe-jimmy-dykes-dead

We're soooo relieved!

After six days of being held captive by a gun-toting murderer, 5-year-old Ethan is finally free.

When law enforcement stormed Jimmy Lee Dykes' underground bunker this afternoon, they say the violent madman held a gun to his young captor.

It's still unclear exactly what happened next, but now the 65-year-old assailant is dead and Ethan is safe.

FBI Special Agent Stephen Richardson revealed:

"Negotiations deteriorated and Mr. Dykes was observed holding a gun. At this point, FBI agents, fearing the child was in imminent danger, entered the bunker and rescued the child."

While we're curious to learn HOW the boy was rescued, we're beyond elated to know this standoff is over!

Last Tuesday, Ethan — a kindergartener with Aspergers and ADHD — was taken off his Alabama school bus after his soon-to-be kidnapper killed the driver.

[Image via AP Images.]

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NYC Bus Driver Catches 7-Year-Old Girl Who Fell Three Stories!!!

Check out the video (above) and see a real hero at work.

A New York City bus driver saw a girl on a ledge three stories from the ground.

When she fell - he caught her and saved her life!

Watch and be amazed.

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