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Roseanne Running For President!

Filed under: PolitikRoseanne

Check out Roseanne’s announcement that she will be running for both President of the United States of America and Prime Minister of Israel.

For those of you who might be skeptical about Roseanne as a viable candidate for those two positions, we can't blame you. As is always the case, she goes too far, BUT she does make some good points as well.

Here are some highlights of her campaign speech:

“…I will outlaw bullshit. After the passage of this law, the Patriarchy will inevitably start to crumble, as will the concept of war itself, which is largely a large load of bullshit.”

“The people must have justice, and so I want to reinstate and enshrine the blessed and holy guillotine - a fast and painless execution of justice, and of execution. There’s simply no kinder way of death than a swift and painless death.”

“All prime ministers, queens, and presidents will be required to fight in the very first infantry wave of any war they authorize. Trust me, this will make for some productive peace talks, people.”

Will U vote for Roseanne?

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