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Britney Spears Music Being Blasted By Boats To Scare Off Somali Pirates?!?

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Forget flare guns and fire hoses - the real way to ward off Somali pirates out at sea is to hit them with a blast of Britney!

Sea Captains battling East African ship raiders have reportedly discovered a new secret weapon in Britney Spears', claiming that pirates hate her music so much, they turn away from any vessel that's playing her hit songs!

LOLz!

Second Officer Rachel Owens, a merchant navy officer aboard one of these huge super tankers has seen firsthand how BritBrit can keep them safe. She explained:

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Tom Hanks Has Type 2 Diabetes, Probably From Being Such A Sweet-Ass Guy!

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tom hanks type 2 diabetes

All kidding aside, it's a bummer to hear from Tom Hanks that he has type-2 diabetes, which in most cases is pretty avoidable. What's strange is that he's always been in decent shape, and type-2 usually hits those who are not!

That's not the only strange thing, either — apparently he's been experiencing symptoms for TWENTY YEARS. Twenty years, and he has just recently been officially diagnosed!

The 57-year-old we all wish was a father figure in our lives (and star of the upcoming modern pirate movie Captain Phillips) admitted to having the common form of diabetes in an interview with David Letterman. He's not alone in Hollywood, either: Halle Berry, Patti Labelle, Drew Carey and Chaka Khan all have it too.

He also spoke about how his doctor broke the news to him:

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