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Woman Marries Robert Pattinson…'s Cardboard Cutout! Read About Their Odd Relationship HERE!

twilight marriage wedding woman edward cullen robert pattinson

This story is like Lars and the Real Girl meets real life!

A woman from Las Vegas (a place notorious for people making rash matrimonial decisions) Lauren Adkins, is actually married a to scale cardboard cut out of Robert Pattinson!

"Oh, that's normal," said no one ever.

According to Lauren, despite the fact that the Edward Cullen stiff, hard standee isn't real, she's genuinely happy:

"We got hitched in Las Vegas last year and I'm sure we're happier than most newlyweds. People might think I'm crazy but my flat-pack R-Patz is the closest I'll get to the real thing and he's the one for me. For as long as I can remember I've been ­obsessed with romantic fairytale endings. When I was a child, I watched the Disney ­versions of Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs and Cinderella until the tapes wore out."

Lauren had trouble finding a man who could live up to her expectations in college, but when the Twilight books came out, she met the bloodsucker of her dreams:

"It was different from any love story I'd seen ­before – after all, the leading character was as likely to suck your blood as open the door for you. I was obsessed. Leading man Edward was quiet and ­mysterious, yet superhuman and invincible. And so sexy. I tore through the books and I queued outside the cinema when the film was released, desperate for my first glimpse of Edward. And when Robert Pattinson appeared on screen at midnight, he was perfect. I knew that very minute I wanted to marry him."

It wasn't until a few months later that Lauren arrived face-to-inanimate-face with Edward in a record shop:

"Of course he was made from cardboard, but that didn't matter to me. Suddenly I was taken over with an urge to have him. I grabbed his rigid torso and stuffed him under my arm before marching to the counter and handing over a $20 note. Then, cramming him into my car I headed back to my apartment where I ripped off his cellophane and stood him at the foot of my bed. For the rest of the night I couldn't take my eyes off him.Then I started thinking – the guys I'd dated before had all been so hopeless, I might as well have been with a cardboard cut-out. So where was the shame in taking him out with me?…A friend who thought I was going mad said one night: ‘If you love him so much why don't you marry him?' Her words rang in my ears. She was right. Why didn't I?"

Well, she did do just that, and had a marriage ceremony at the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel:

"I walked down the aisle in January in the white wedding dress I've always dreamt of. I held the reception at an art gallery and ordered champagne and a five-tier cake to share with my 50 guests. The day cost £2,000 but I didn't care – I wanted to do it properly. We had our honeymoon in LA and I wanted us to climb up to the Hollywood sign together. I had to carry him, and we had to do it at night because he can't be in the sun. But everyone makes sacrifices for the man they love, right?"

We wish the two the best. We bet cardboard R-Patz is a good listener.

[Image via Instagram.]
 

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Miley Cyrus Literally WRECKS Selena Gomez Like A Real Life, Italian Wrecking Ball!! Vid HERE!!

miley cyrus disses selena gomez cardboard cutout italy stage video watch here

Whoa! Talk about Euro-trippin'!

Remember a few months ago when rumors swirled saying Selena Gomez and her crew were totally PISSED at Miley Cyrus for apparently cozying up to Justin Bieber?

Well, MileyBird may have finally exacted her revenge!

While performing a perfect rendition of FU in Milan, Italy over the weekend, a Bangerz Tour concertgoer threw a poorly constructed cardboard cutout of Selenita on to the stage!!

How did the Party in the U.S.A. princess react?

Miley didn't whisper sweet nothings into its cardboard ear, that's for sure!

Instead, the 21-year-old FLUNG fake Selena into the audience with a righteous fury! She threw the Come & Get It starlet away! Discarded her like last week's ravioli!

Ch-ch-check out Miley's intense Italian stage antics for yourself…AFTER THE JUMP!!!

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Joe Manganiello Proves He Still Looks Seksi In Only Two Dimensions!

Filed under: TwitterJoe Manganiello

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Mmm we love it when Joe Manganiello gets stiff as a board. Well, in this case, cardboard, but still…

Joe tweeted out this ABSolutely delicious photo as an incentive to pre-order his new book Evolution: The Cutting Edge Guide to Breaking Down Mental Walls and Building the Body You've Always Wanted, which is a real mouthful (just like Joe…yum!):

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Lisa Vanderpump's Restaurant Is Serving CARDBOARD!

Filed under: Business BlitzReal HousewivesFood

lisa vanderpump villa blanca cardboard salad food eating customer gross

Villa Blanca is owned by the wonderful and powerful Real Housewife Lisa Vanderpump, so you'd think they'd be held to higher standards than this! One upset diner is FURIOUS that she's vowed to never go back to the restaurant!

Despite it being a star-studded hot spot, this woman says she found CARDBOARD in her salad… twice!!

According to their website, the restaurant had 10 violations the last time the Health Department dropped by for inspection, including the following:

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Emma Stone Flying Miles High Without Andrew Garfield? OH NOES!

Filed under: SIGHtingLove LineAndrew GarfieldEmma Stone

emma-stone-andrew-garfield-trouble-paradise

Say it ain't so!!

No, seriously. Say it! RIGHT NOW! Or we're turning this car around!

We haven't caught Emma Stone giggling, smiling, or penning peculiar cardboard signs with her Amazing boyfriend Andrew Garfield in weeks!

What the heck is happening with these two?!

The last time we saw Andy, the web-slinging hero was studying up on battling addiction — and he was doing it alone!

Emma, meanwhile, landed at LAX yesterday without a care in the world! And she had just flown cross-country by herself, too!

Our Spider-Sense is really tingling here, but maybe our phone is just on vibrate!

We love these two! We genuinely adore them!

If their relationship was in jeopardy, we might literally cry!

If their relationship was on Jeopardy, we would take "Trouble in Paradise" for $600, Alex!

Hopefully we're overreacting!!

Ugh!! Worry-face!!

[Image via Ramey Pix.]

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Man Builds Box Tower For His Cat!

Filed under: CatAwwwwwCrazzzzy

Rufus is one lucky kitty cat!

His owner had to give him painful ear drops to fix an infection.

After doing it for a week his cat began to hate him for the pain he regularly caused him.

So now that the ear drops are done, he is working on mending his relationship with Rufus.

So how did he do it?

He built him the most ridiculous box fort we've ever seen!

Check out the video (above) to see one lucky kitty get one ahmayzing new cardboard castle!

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High School Student Brings Bieb-board To Prom!

Filed under: Silly!Etc.Justin Bieber

When high schooler Leon Purvis couldn't manage to nab Justin Bieber for his prom, he thought of the next best thing — a Biebs cardboard cutout!

Check out Leon making his grand entrance with the Boyfriend singer (above)!!

Though Leon wanted Justin to be his wingman for the dance, what he received afterwards was probably more than he could've ever expected!

Scooter Braun, the Biebs' manager, reached out to Leon and offered him free tickets to Justin's upcoming Believe tour!!

Not bad, not bad at all!!!

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