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Danielle Staub's Real Housewives Return Is NOT Happening!

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We guess the much-anticipated showdown between Caroline Manzo and Danielle Staub is still out of the cards, folks!

It's been long rumored that the former Real Housewives of New Jersey star, not-so-affectionately called a "Prostitution Whore" by Teresa Giudice in the table-flipping first season finale, might be showing up the reality show's fifth season in either part or full-time capacity, but according to new sources with the Bravo network…it

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Danielle Staub To Face-Off With Caroline Manzo Season 5!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Caroline Manzo returning

Hammer down your tables and weaves!

Season five of The Real Housewives of New Jersey is gonna be a bigger shitshow than we EVER imagined!

Melissa Gorga has revealed that rumors of Caroline Manzo's departure from the series were 100 percent FALSE!

The pop singer reality star told reports:

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Breaking News: Danielle Staub WILL Return And We're All Gonna Die

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Up is down, down is up — This defies the laws of physics!

We don't understand how or why (okay, we kinda understand why) this has happening, but new reports claim Danielle Staub WILL RETURN to the cast of Real Housewives of New Jersey!

A show insider reveals:

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Real Housewives of New Jersey Casting: Who's In And Who's Out??

Filed under: TV NewsReal Housewives

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Juicy Joe, prepare for some vineyard-style humping! Teresa Giudice has a LOT celebrate tonight!

We have the scoop on who will be returning to the cast Real Housewives of New Jersey for season five, aaand it's gonna be a banner year for Mz. Tre!

We heard whispers that after last season's Teresa hate-fest, Bravo wanted to settle the score by casting new ladies that would take her side. Turns out those rumors … were right!

BUT wait — there's bigger news: To make room

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Danielle Staub Will NOT Be Returning To Real Housewives Of New Jersey!

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Phew!

Talk about dodging one HELLUVA bullet!

While ex-Real Housewives of New Jersey castmember Danielle Staub - who was fired in 2010 following two, ahem, 'volatile' seasons - revealed recently that she had met with Bravo exec Andy Cohen about possibly RETURNING to reality series, sources close to the network have confirmed that there is NO WAY she'll find herself back in Franklin Lakes!

Insiders reveal that while Cohen

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Liam Neeson And Ethan Hawke Reenact The EPIC Teresa/Caroline Real Housewives Reunion Showdown On WWHL!

We saw many different sides to The Real Housewives of New Jersey during the first portion of this season's three-part reunion special, but we have NEVER seen them quite like this!

And we have to admit, we're MORE than a little bewildered…and OBSESSED!

Yes, for reasons we still cannot explain, both Ethan Hawke and Liam Neeson not only agreed to appear as guests on Watch What Happens Live last night, but they ALSO were convinced to throw on some leftover wigs from Kim Zolciak's collection and re-enact one of the more EPIC confrontations between Caroline Manzo and Teresa Giudice from last Sunday's episode!

The end result was, as you can imagine, PURE MAGIC!

Ch-ch-check it all out in all of its bizarre, nightmarish glory (above)!

There are just so many things to love about this!

Between Ethan being a true professional and insisting upon "action" to Liam wearing those glasses on top of the Teresa wig, we really feel as though we stepped into some wacky Twilight Zone where A-listers and Bravo reality stars mutated together to scream over each other about pageant dresses and "rollers!"

More! More! More!

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Teresa Giudice Justifies Her Behavior During The Real Housewives By Teasing All The Dirt She COULD HAVE Spilled On Her Castmates!

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Seriously, how much more hell can this woman cause?

Hasn't she done ENOUGH?!

Apparently not, as Teresa Giudice recently took to her blog to discuss the explosive first part of The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion special, and although she came off in a MUCH LESS than positive light for most of the episode, she's STILL maintaining that she has done nothing wrong…because she didn't reveal any of her fellow castmembers' dirty laundry!

She wrote:

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