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Pope Francis I Gets The Keys To Vatican City! See The Video HERE!

Filed under: Etc.Politik

In case you've been living under a non-demoniational rock, there's a new Pope in town!

The Vatican unveiled Pope Francis I to millions of super-stoked Catholics today and, for the sinners out there who were feeling too sloth-like to turn on their TVs, the ceremony was a sweet-as-ballz cross between a State of the Union address and a Madonna concert!

Ha! We wish we could've been backstage for that!

Pr-pr-press PLAY on the perfectly charming papal video (above) and watch P. Frank Uno lead his flock in a FIERCE prayer!

The Argentinian known just yesterday as Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio has only one lung, but was mercifully blessed with a double helping of soul!

His Holiness, sadly, didn't reveal the ONE crucial detail we were chomping at the bit to learn: his new Twitter handle!!!

Oh well, we'll probably find out soon enough. Patience is a virtue, LOLz!

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EXCLUSIVE! Jenny McCarthy's Bad Habits Book Cover! Sinfully Sweet!!

Filed under: Exclusives!Jenny McCarthyBookz

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So delightful!

When she's not busy posing her perfect body for Playboy, Jenny McCarthy is sharing all her juicy inside secrets via memwha memoir!

In her eighth book, Bad Habits: Confessions of a Recovering Catholic, Jenny reveals the HIGHLARIOUS stories that can only come from being raised Catholic!

Who knew the little girl that dreamed of becoming a nun would one day be Playmate of the Year!?!

Our beautiful blonde will tell all in this riveting account of her sinful upbringing… and WE CAN'T FREAKING WAIT!!!

Obviously we've already pre-ordered ours! What about you??

It would make the perfect back-to-catholic-school gift, don't ya think??

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Katy Perry Does NOT Like Ale-Ale-Jandro!

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Feeling a little feisty today, are we?

Lady GaGa's latest music video, Alejandro, premiered today, and prompted quite a bit of controversy - this time for its use of Catholic imagery.

Surprisingly, Miz Katy Perry was among those who did not take too kindly to it, and she wrote the following message via her Twitter:

Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.

One person's blasphemy is another's cupcake bra with exploding frosting!

What do U think?? Does Katy have a point??

P.S. CLICK HERE to "follow" Perez on Twitter!

[Image via WENN.]

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Dear Pope Benedict XVI, THIS Sucks!!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooGay Gay Gay

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We're not trying to offend anyone, but….

Wow! He really is a horrible monster, isn't he??

Pope Benedict XVI was in Fatima, Portugal today, and despite the disgusting amount of child abuse he let slide in the name of Jesus, he maintained his lovely stance to 400,000 thousand people that abortion and same-sex marriage are the most "insidious and dangerous" threats facing the world today!

According to the pope, all true Catholics must promote the "indissoluble marriage between a man and woman" because they "help respond to some of the most insidious and dangerous threats to the common good today, alongside numerous other forms of commitment, such initiatives represent essential elements in the building of the civilization of love."

Look around, douchebag, because there are far more serious threats in the world - or you know, in your own church! But we all know how much you love to avoid THAT subject!

So, in conclusion, Benedict, you can suck it!

Or would you like that too much?

[Image via WENN.]

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Controversial Remarks! Roseanne Attacks The Catholic Church

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Here we go again!

Roseanne is back to her blog, this time with a lot of HARSH words directed at the Catholic church!

the pedo priests are trying to cover up the number of LITTLE GIRLS they have molested too, as if that doesn't matter as much as what happens to boys. Trust me, the number of girls raped and molested by priests is at least double the boys. They are trying to cover it all up so that they can end up purging gay priests, and laying the blame on them. The fact is pedos like to rape both boys and girls, and only a small number of pedos are exclusively into male children. I am starting to think that any parent who takes their kids to catholic churches from now on should lose custody. Taking your kid where you know sex offenders hang out is inexcusable!!!

Wow.

Once again a passionate, albeit unfounded entry.

We know your heart is in the right place, and we certainly have issues with the Catholic church, but it's a bit much to attack parents trying to instill faith in their kids!

What do U think??

Does Roseanne have a point or is she out of line??

[Image via WENN.]

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Denver Archdiocese Defends Denying Children With Lesbian Parents Re-Enrollment At School!!

Filed under: Icky Icky PooGay Gay GayPolitik

Yeah! We're sure Jesus would have stood by THIS 100%!!

Pssh.

This effing sucks so hard.

The archdiocese in Denver, Colorado, has denied two CHILDREN re-enrollment in a Catholic school next year because their parents are lesbians!

So UNBELIEVABLY effed up!! They're KIDS - only in kindergarten and preschool!!

They've already started at a school, and now they won't be allowed back because the church suddenly decides it's not cool?

Archbishop Charles J. Chaput says:

"The Church does not claim that people with a homosexual orientation are 'bad,' or that their children are less loved by God. Quite the opposite. But what the Church does teach is that sexual intimacy by anyone outside marriage is wrong; that marriage is a sacramental covenant; and that marriage can only occur between a man and a woman. These beliefs are central to a Catholic understanding of human nature, family and happiness, and the organization of society. The Church cannot change these teachings because, in the faith of Catholics, they are the teachings of Jesus Christ. People with a different understanding of marriage and family life have other, excellent options for education and should see in them the better course for their children."

BULLSHIT.

We're SURE every student in that school has married parents completely committed to one another and conform COMPLETELY to every single obscure Catholic teaching!!

Luckily, there has been a MASSIVE public outcry in the community to this blatant and hateful discrimination.

Marianne Duddy-Burke, Executive Director of DignityUSA, says:

"The Archdiocese of Denver has acted very unjustly in singling out this child for exclusion. Until every student's parents are tested on Catholic teaching, this action by Catholic officials cannot be understood as anything other than discrimination on the back of a child. At a tender age, this child has learned that Catholic officials are willing to inflict pain on children and families."

SPOT ON. So unbelievably cruel.

How are young children supposed to feel when the school they are a part of suddenly decides they're not welcome anymore?!

Jarret Barrios, the president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, agreed:

"These actions by the Denver Archdiocese harm the student by taking the child away from friends, teachers and community. It's deeply troubling to see any school remove a child from their educational program simply as the means of rejecting that child's parents."

If there's any light in this shitstorm of a story, Boulder Pride - which is a Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Community Center - organized a protest outside of the church Sunday, supported by 30 opponents, most of whom were reportedly heterosexual allies of the gay community!!

We're sure the support was very much appreciated!!

We still can't even process this. Those poor children are way too young to have to endure that kind of discrimination.

So sad.

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