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No More Stealing Pink Fifties! Computers Take Over Monopoly!

Filed under: Tech Talk

You know, making the world's smartest humans look like simpletons on national television is one thing, computers….but now you are screwing with an American pass-time!

We don't like this at all!

Introducing Monopoly Live, the newest edition of America's favorite way to waste 13 hours of their lives. The rules are the same as they always were, but in this new age, people apparently shouldn't be bothered to do things like roll dice or count change. Heavens no! That's why Hasbro unveiled a new technology - a new computer - that will do all the work for you!

See that tower in the middle of the board there? That wonder stick keeps track of all your money, rolls the dice for you and it even knows where your doggie lands on the board. No more Chance or Community cards, everything is done by that Shake Weight magic cylinder. With a wave of one hand, you can buy Park Place and with a wave of the other, you can say goodbye to cheating your Grandma out of all the Railroads. This super computer will have none of those shenanigans.

Check out the video (above) to see Monopoly Live plot its world domination in action.

Too much. We're really not okay with this.

How about U?

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Watson On Jeopardy: "Pathetic Humans!" Followed By Evil Laughter

Filed under: TV NewsTech Talk

Asimo Happy To Hear That World Domination Has Started

And so it begins.

Last night's showdown between the computer Watson and two returning human champions on Jeopardy turned brutal as the machine crushed its opponents!

We suppose it was embarrassed by its tie on the first night! Machines can be embarrassed, right?!

Team Human, what happened??

Well, here's what happened:

"Veteran human champs Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter scored only five correct responses between them during the Double Jeopardy! round. They ended this first game of a two-game match, which began on Monday's broadcast, with a mere $2,400 and $5,400 respectively. Watson emerged from the Final Jeopardy! round with whopping $35,734."

We read that like 4 or 5 times, but all we could gather from it was we need to prepare pretty fast for our new machine overlords.

LOLz!

Ken and Brad, it's okay bbs! We only relied on you to keep the biggest power struggle know to man in balance!

In all seriousness, good try guys!

The second game between the three will air tonight!

Thoughts??

[Image via WENN.]

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Kathie Lee Gifford Has Never Turned On A Computer

Filed under: TV NewsTech Talk

kathie-lee-gifford-technology-computer.jpg

Forget if she is a Mac or a PC - Kathie Lee Gifford is computer illiterate.

In an interview with Access Hollywood, The Today Show host revealed that she has NEVER turned on a computer and will probably never learn how as she believe in more social interaction than social networking. She explained:

“Technical stuff does not come very easy to me. I prefer people over machines. Plus, I watch my friends and my associates and everybody freaks out when their technology falls apart. So, I’ve got the same little address book I’ve had forever. It never lets me down!”

Whatever works for you, Kathie. You're missing out though! There's a lot of wondrous things going on in cyber land!

Have you seen the work of Antione Dodsen?!

[Image via WENN.]

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German Hackers Vs. GaGa & Ke$ha

german hackers steal from gaga and kesha and others

How dare they mess with GaGa! They've got a lot of nerve and we hope they're disciplined accordingly!

A 17-year-old high school student and a 23-year old unemployed man in Germany are currently under investigation for stealing unreleased songs from Lady GaGa, Ke$ha, Justin Timberlake, and Kelly Clarkson.

The pair of hackers have been allegedly selling the songs online, which has forced the advanced release of several singles by the artists.

Apparently, the hackers used a "Trojan Horse" to hack into the singers' computers, which had been active for a year before their discovery!

The hackers made $13,240 through sales of the songs, AND one of the hackers allegedly used a "sexually compromising" photo of one artist as blackmail.

Here's what the hacker said in response:

“I’m a fan and I just wanted to have cool music. I’m no blackmailer.”

Looks like the investigation should be done by January, and the accused may get up to five years in prison or massive fines if convicted.

We have ZERO sympathy for them if they're guilty, and we will be seriously unhappy if we find out they tried to blackmail our wifey, GaGa!

How do U think these hackers should be punished if convicted?

[Image via WENN.]

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George Lopez Talks Bullying

Filed under: InspirationTwitter

george lopez talks bullying

George Lopez got serious yesterday when talking about bullying, and he had a lot to say on the subject.

Here's George on protecting kids from being bullied:

“We all were bullied. Here’s what we have to understand: We cannot live in the past. We were all bullied as kids. I had the biggest hair and the darkest skin. What we have to do now is save the kids who are being bullied on computers and bullied in school and bullied by friends and bullied on Facebook.”

George on how he protects his own daughter from bullying:

“I am a parent. I do not allow my daughter to have a Facebook page or a MySpace page or Twitter. If you’re looking for positive, don’t look to Twitter, and for us who are older, let’s not go into the past and talk about our bullying, but help kids now.”

More from George on his how to stop bullying:

“We focus our attention on computers and parents being parents in their own home, not allowing their child to dress provocatively, to not allow Facebook and MySpace and to have text messages. You have to eliminate the electronics because it’s almost like a weapon that kids aren’t supposed to have.”

Social networking websites have certainly been a source of controversy when it comes to bullying.

We're not sure how realistic it would be to try to completely ban kids from using these sites, but if they are to use them, parents should definitely engage in open dialogues about the sites with their kids.

Do U think kids shouldn't be allowed to use social networking sites? What about text messaging?

[Image via WENN.]

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Quote of the Day

elton john doesn't have an ipod or a phone or a computer

"I don't have one. I dont have a computer or a phone either."

- Elton John, when asked about what is on his iPod by Entertainment Weekly

[Image via WENN.]

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Uh Huh! Shaq Facing Second Computer Hacking Lawsuit!

Filed under: ZportzLegal MattersShaq

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This is turning into Shaq Vs. The World over here! Is no one's privacy safe from the computer hacking mastermind that is Shaquille O'Neal?!

The NBA star has been hit with yet another lawsuit today and once again, it alleges that he went through personal information on their computer. Vanessa Lopez, otherwise known as Shaq's piece on the side, was informed by Shaq's informer employee, Shawn Darling, that his boss had been hacking into her private accounts. As you recall, Shawn is also filing a hacking suit against Shaq. As she had already filed a harassment suit earlier this year, Vanessa filed an amended lawsuit over the weekend, including this new information.

According to lawsuit and testimony by Shawn, Shaq insisted his IT guy teach him how to "hack into text messages of third parties" (aka, open her inbox), go into her voicemails, monitor her cell phone use, use "spoofing" to assign fake numbers to incoming calls and cut and paste images to unrelated texts or emails to appear legit.

So, nothing really a 7th grader with a Droid couldn't pull off, but still!

You better hurry and clean up this mess before it gets to dicey for you, Shaq! We wouldn't want to see you lose your show because of this shiz.

Oh wait, yes we would. Carry on then!

[Image via WENN.]

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