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Remember That Rapper Who Cut Off His Penis & Jumped Off A Balcony? Yeah, He's Not Getting His Penis Back!

Filed under: Music MinuteScary!GIFs

2014 04 17 07 00 10

Good news! The rapper involved with the group Northstar who cut off his own penis, and jumped off a balcony in an alleged failed suicide attempt is apparently in stable condition!

Slightly less than good news is that penis he chopped off? Yeah, it's not coming back.

The rapper affiliated with the Wu-Tang Clan named Christ Bearer (real name Andre Johnson) will not get his Johnson back as the doctors at Cedars-Sinai were unable to reattach it.

This gives a whole new meaning to severance package!

Hey, we're just happy he's going to make it out okay.

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Brad Pitt & Chiwetel Ejiofor Look Serious & Sexy On The Cover Of The Hollywood Reporter

Brad Pitt and Chiwetel Ejiofor cover the hollywood reporter

Is it just us or does Brad Pitt age as if he were a bottle of red wine?

He gets finer and finer as the years go by!

Especially when he FINALLY cut off that atrocious long hair!

LOLz!!

Brad and his 12 Years A Slave co-star Chiwetel Ejiofor are bringing the smolder on the cover of this months The Hollywood Reporter.

Lookin' good, you two!

Aside from this cover, it seems that Brad has been keeping pretty busy lately, what with Dad duty, filming his new movie with Shia LaBeouf, and secretly saying 'I do' to Angelina Jolie!

We should just start calling him Busy Dad Brad!

LOLz!!!!

[Image via The Hollywood Reporter]

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Amanda Bynes REACHES OUT To Parents!? Is She Finally Back On Track?!

Filed under: Amanda BynesTwitterFamilyWellness

amanda bynes parents

Thank goodness! We were beginning to doubt this would ever happen!

But while it may not have seemed as though Amanda Bynes' behavior was any less bizarre this week, sources close to the troubled actress claim that she may be beginning to think clearly… because she has apparently reached out to her understandably concerned parents!

Last we heard from Amanda herself, she had cut both Lynn and Rick Bynes out of her life, but thankfully, in between posting selfies in various states of undress to Twitter, she realized it was time to mend some broken fences!

As insiders explain:

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Lindsay Lohan Wants NOTHING To Do With Her Newly Discovered Half-Sister!

Filed under: Lindsay Lohan

lindsay-lohan-wants-nothing-to-do-with-half-sister

Whether or not she was lying about knowledge of her recently-confirmed half-sister during her interview on Good Morning America, one thing is definitely for certain:

Lindsay Lohan wants NOTHING to do with 17-year-old Ashley Horn!

But she shouldn't take the news too personally, as the troubled starlet's main reasons for avoiding her sibling are more so the fault of their mutual father Michael, with whom she's telling friends she's officially DONE!

According to sources, Lindsay has not spoken with her dad since he leaked the the phone call she made to him during her fight with Dina last month, and since things have been going much more smoothly for her since removing him from her life, she has no plans to open the lines of communication…even if

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Lindsay Lohan Intervention FAIL!

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Lindsay Lohan don't need no stinkin' intervention…

According to Linday Lohan!!

Her daddums Michael Lohan tried to stage an intervention Friday to curb Lilo's out of control druggy, drinky ways, but girl was NOT having any of it and called the cops!!

Apparently, Linds believes the ONLY reason her daddy tried to cart her off to rehab via an intervention is because he is PISSED that she recently cut him off after he recorded her intimate conversation argument with mommy Dina Lohan!

Linds is also claiming she does NOT have an issue with drugs OR alcohol.

Sureeeee Lilo, we totes believe you don't indulge in liquid courage OR party favors! On opposite day!

Womp womp.

[Image via WENN.]

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A Ponytail For A Ponytail Makes The Whole World Bald

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A mom from Utah named Valerie Bruno is really upset with a judge who encouraged her to cut off her daughter's lovely ponytail in order for the little girl to receive a lighter amount of community service.

The trouble started when Kaytlen Lopan and her friend were charged after cutting off several inches of another girl's hair. The two mean girls pretended to be the toddler's friend before hacking off the locks.

SO the judge gave the defendant's mother a choice

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Lindsay Lohan Claims Her Brakes Failed Before PCH Accident With 18-Wheeler!

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Although we're just relieved that there were no serious injuries, it doesn't sound we'll be getting a straight answer as to what exactly caused Lindsay Lohan's car accident with an 18-wheeler on the PCH this past Friday!

What we do know is this:

The actress was on the way to film Liz & Dick with her assistant in a rented Porsche when she slammed into the back of the truck. They were taken to the hospital and treated more minor cuts and bruises.

While it was initially reported that LiLo wasn't even driving, she later confirmed that she was, and that the accident happened when the truck driver cut her off, a claim he has since denied, and has witnesses to back him up!

Furthermore, he later asserted that the actress' team attempted to bribe him, and even witnessed them trying to hid a "mysterious bag" from him while waiting for the cops!

CRAZY!

Well, in today's news, Lindsay's rep, Steve Honig, says in response

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